Chapter 226: Unworthy of a Scholar

Lu Shengzhong thought Tan Yaoxian was merely rambling drunkenly.

Tan Yaoxian was already propping his head on one arm. He gave a self-mocking chuckle, his eyes bleary with drink, and slowly mumbled, "Nothing more than fallen leaves carrying messages of love..."

By the time he had slurred out the truth, Lu Shengzhong was left speechless. These two young lovers were impressive. More impressive than Lu Shengzhong himself, even. The Provincial Provincial Inspector's Residence was difficult enough for him to penetrate, yet the two of them had somehow breached its defenses.

Running water from outside flowed through the gardens of the Provincial Provincial Inspector's Residence. People could not enter, but leaves could drift in and out with the current. The two lovers had actually carved characters into leaves and let those leaves float back and forth, using them to exchange messages and ease the pain of longing for one another.

They agreed on specific times to set the leaves adrift. In case one went astray, they would release several at once. It took extraordinary patience, driven by no small amount of longing, to keep something like this going.

At the agreed time, Tan Yaoxian would place his prepared leaves into the water upstream. Shao Liuer would wait in the garden during that same period for the leaves to drift in, then fish them out. Later, at another agreed time, Shao Liuer would release leaves into the water after carving her reply into them, and Tan Yaoxian would wait downstream from the Shao residence to retrieve them. That was how the two had kept in contact all along.

Through those leaves, Tan Yaoxian learned that Shao Pingbo had been behind the dissolution of the poetry society, and that Shao Liuer had been confined and forbidden to leave.

At first, full of a young man's hot-blooded courage, Tan Yaoxian had even wanted to confront Shao Pingbo directly and declare that he meant to marry Shao Liuer. Then reality came down on him in one blow after another. First, the school where he taught dismissed him.

He tried to find another teaching position. Tan Yaoxian had some reputation in Beizhou City. Otherwise, a poor scholar with neither money nor background would never have qualified to join Shao Liuer's poetry society in the first place. Finding work was therefore not particularly difficult.

The problem was that every time he found a new position, within a day or two his employer would suddenly invent some excuse and dismiss him again. If it had happened once, he might have thought nothing of it. But it happened repeatedly. Later, forced by circumstances, he tried other kinds of work. The result was largely the same.

Gradually, he became unable to find any employment at all. With his source of income cut off and daily life pressing in on him, he began pawning the belongings in his house simply to survive. That was how he had barely managed to hold on until now. He was not completely foolish. He had already realized that the Shao family was probably behind it.

The Shao family had never said so openly, but their meaning was no different from refusing to allow him and Shao Liuer to be together. The message was obvious: if you cannot even support yourself, what right do you have to marry Shao Liuer?

And that was the truth. If even his basic livelihood had become a problem, how could he march up to Shao Pingbo and confront him? The Shao family had struck directly at his weakness and made the point clear. Did he really need to force them to say it to his face? The gulf between their family backgrounds was simply too great.

The poorer he became, the more his thoughts circled around that fact. What kind of food did Shao Liuer eat every day? What sort of things did she use? Even if the Shao family stopped obstructing him, could he afford to support her?

Grief accumulated in his heart. Reality had finally beaten him down completely. He abandoned the thought of confronting the Shao family and began thinking only about how he was going to survive.

He also knew he could not remain in Beizhou City much longer under these circumstances. Almost everything in the house that could be pawned had already been pawned. If he wanted to live, the day when he left Beizhou City was not far away.

He had already prepared himself for it. Once there was nothing left in the house to pawn, he would sell the residence his parents had left him, scrape together enough money for travel expenses, and leave for some distant place with a heart full of desolation. It was time to wake from that impossible dream.

By the time Tan Yaoxian finished speaking, tears were running down his face. He slumped over the table and fell asleep, though now and then he still murmured as if dreaming, "Liuer... Liuer..."

"Brother Tan. Brother Tan..." Lu Shengzhong pushed his shoulder and called several times, but could not wake him. The man truly was asleep.

Lu Shengzhong sat back down and considered him. He could see it now. Even after being forced into such straits, Tan Yaoxian had refused to leave. He planned to wait until there was absolutely nothing left in his house to pawn before going. Clearly, he still could not let Shao Liuer go. Somewhere in his heart, he was clinging to one last thread of hope. Hearing Tan Yaoxian murmur her name in his sleep, Lu Shengzhong shook his head, finding it almost amusing.

This scholar truly was rigid to the point of foolishness. He had managed to win Shao Liuer's affection, yet instead of thinking about marrying into a powerful family and using the Shao family's influence to better his prospects, he worried endlessly about whether he could afford to support her, tormenting himself with problems of his own making. If you really managed to marry Shao Liuer, would livelihood still be a problem with the Shao family behind you? He was worrying over nothing useful at all.

Lu Shengzhong had no intention of explaining that reasoning to Tan Yaoxian. There was no point talking like that to a scholar whose backbone had not yet been ground away. Tan Yaoxian would only think he was being insulted. A man like this had to be truly subdued by the realities of life before he would learn to bend at the waist. Lu Shengzhong rose and paced around the room, surprised even with himself.

He had only come to probe around and see what he could uncover. He had not expected to uncover something like this.

Now he finally understood why Wu Tiannan had refused to speak of it before. It was not that he had nothing to say. He simply feared the power of the Shao family and did not dare wag his tongue carelessly.

Even Wu Tiannan had been able to see what was happening. That meant the ambiguous relationship between Tan Yaoxian and Shao Liuer had never been much of a secret within the poetry society. The others had noticed long ago. Only the two fools at the center of it had believed no one knew. Those involved were truly blinded by it, while the onlookers saw clearly. What puzzled Lu Shengzhong was Shao Pingbo.

Shao Pingbo was no harmless man. His methods were ruthless and decisive. If he opposed the relationship, how had Tan Yaoxian managed to remain unharmed in Beizhou City?

If Shao Pingbo considered Tan Yaoxian too insignificant to bother with, then why had he gone to the trouble of using methods like these against such a minor figure...?

The next day, Tan Yaoxian slowly opened his eyes where he lay groggy on the bed. He gradually pushed himself upright and remembered the previous night. He must have drunk too much.

Looking around, he saw that he was in his own bedroom. He had no idea how he had gotten back there to sleep.

He rubbed his aching head. He truly had drunk far too much last night. Never in his life had he consumed that much wine.

Catching the aroma of porridge from outside, he lowered his feet, put on his shoes, draped an outer robe around himself, and opened the door. The sunlight outside was dazzling. Only then did he realize he had slept until noon.

"Brother Tan, you're awake?"

Tan Yaoxian turned toward the voice and saw someone standing beneath the eaves. Who else could it be but Brother Li from the previous night?

Embarrassed to receive a guest in such a disheveled state, he hurriedly pulled on the robe he had merely draped over his shoulders and straightened his clothes. A man who had studied the classics and learned propriety rarely appeared improperly dressed before others.

He then walked over quickly, cupped his hands, and said, "Brother Li, I behaved shamefully."

Lu Shengzhong chuckled. "There's no harm in indulging yourself once in a while."

Remembering the previous evening, Tan Yaoxian asked, "Where is Brother Tang?"

Lu Shengzhong smiled. "He woke long ago. He saw you were still sleeping and left early this morning. Said he'd come see you another day."

Tan Yaoxian smacked his forehead and sighed repeatedly, blaming himself for failing in the duties of a host.

Lu Shengzhong pointed toward the kitchen. "I made a pot of porridge and was waiting for you to wake. Go wash up first, Brother Tan."

Ashamed, Tan Yaoxian cupped his hands again and hurried off to clean himself up. By the time he returned, Lu Shengzhong had carried a large pot of porridge into the hall. The two sat down, chatting as they ate slowly.

There was hardly anything on the table to accompany the porridge. The kitchen held only some pickled vegetables. Knowing Tan Yaoxian's household was poor, Lu Shengzhong made do with the simple fare alongside him. Tan Yaoxian ate with refined, measured manners, perfectly matching his pale, scholarly appearance.

Lu Shengzhong had intended to wait until Tan Yaoxian finished eating before speaking. But watching him chew slowly and carefully, he had no idea when the meal would end. In the end, he could only dispense with courtesy.

"Love carried on fallen leaves. Very elegant, Brother Tan."

Tan Yaoxian looked up in surprise. Then his expression tightened. "Brother Li, what do you mean by that?"

Lu Shengzhong smiled. "Brother Tan, you drank too much last night and said a few things from the heart. I already know about you and Shao Liuer."

Tan Yaoxian's face changed drastically. He shot to his feet, panic flickering in his eyes. Inside, he bitterly regretted letting drunkenness loosen his tongue.

Lu Shengzhong pressed a hand downward, signaling him to sit. "You spoke to me from the heart, Brother Tan. I won't go out and gossip about it. There's no need to be nervous."

Tan Yaoxian pressed his lips together tightly. His fingers clenched around his chopsticks as he slowly sat back down with his head lowered.

His backside had barely touched the bench when Lu Shengzhong said mildly, "Forgive me for saying something unpleasant, but I truly look down on a man like you. You're unworthy of a scholar. You're a petty man."

"Ah...?" Tan Yaoxian looked up in astonishment.

Lu Shengzhong continued, "She is a woman, yet she had the courage to confess her feelings to you first. And what about you? Because of you, she's been reduced to this. Losing her freedom and being unable to leave the house is the least of it. She's a young lady from a great household. She met you in secret and gave you her heart, and now her good name has been ruined in your hands. How is she supposed to marry in the future? What will her future husband's family think when they learn she once met another man in secret? You can imagine what punishment her family has subjected her to and how many grievances she must have suffered. She was afraid you would worry. Has she ever once complained to you about any of it?"

Tan Yaoxian shot to his feet again. His chest rose and fell, his emotions plainly surging. His face twisted with pain and self-reproach.

Lu Shengzhong stood as well. "And you, Brother Tan? You know perfectly well Miss Shao is suffering for your sake, yet instead of thinking of a way to solve the problem, instead of fighting for the two of you, all you do is shrink back and fret over every consequence. For the sake of that pitiful scrap of self-respect, you leave a woman to silently bear everything. You even plan to run away and leave every bitter consequence for Miss Shao to shoulder alone! Brother Tan, are you even a man? If that doesn't make you a petty man, what does? You're heartless, disloyal, selfish, and self-serving. All those books you read might as well have gone into a dog's belly!" He pointed at Tan Yaoxian's nose as he berated him.

Tan Yaoxian was overwhelmed with shame. Lowering his head in anguish, he said, "I'm not worthy of her."

Lu Shengzhong immediately pressed him. "If you knew you weren't worthy of her, then why did you provoke her in the first place? What were you after? If you were truly upright and free of selfish desire, you should have refused her firmly from the start and cut things off early. Then you wouldn't have ruined her reputation, and she wouldn't be suffering now. Do you dare say you had no improper thoughts about Miss Shao back then? You entangled yourself with her and now say you're unworthy. How are you any different from those contemptible men who seduce a woman and then abandon her?"

Tan Yaoxian closed his eyes. Two hot streams of tears rolled down his face. Raising his head, he gave a long sigh. "Brother Li, say no more. I harmed her. It's all my fault. Even ten thousand deaths could not absolve me!"

"Ah..." Lu Shengzhong sighed, walked around the table, and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Brother Tan, perhaps my words were harsh. Strictly speaking, an outsider like me has no place saying such things. But since you were willing to speak from the heart with me last night, how could I stand by and watch you continue in your confusion? Think about it carefully, Brother Tan. What do you possess that could have won her? Do you have power? Influence? Ten thousand strings of cash? Since Miss Shao fell in love with you despite all that, could she really be some shallow, painted beauty who cares only about worldly possessions?"

[End of Chapter 226]