Chapter 793: I Always Feel He Came for Me

"Besides, what he said wasn't wrong. My younger sister truly is exceptional. Speaking as a man, your figure is genuinely first-rate. Even your sister-in-law has praised you more than once, envious beyond words. She said she'd seen you when the two of you bathed together, and that your figure was peerless, unmatched by anyone. She said even women would feel ashamed of themselves after seeing you, and whoever married you would be blessed. She even cursed those men for having eyes but failing to see. You know your sister-in-law doesn't flatter people. If she says it, it must be true. Why belittle yourself?"

Shang Shuqing's cheeks burned at his words. She spat lightly, "Brother, how can you say such improper things!"

Lan Ruoting, listening from the side, smiled.

"Ah!" Shang Chaozong raised both hands and held her shoulders again. "Qing'er, Li Ye truly is a good man. Yes, he's seven or eight years older than you, but that difference between a man and woman is nothing. He is a widower, but both of us know why he lost his wife. It wasn't his fault. Truthfully, I never expected him to raise the matter either. I was surprised myself."

"Because of your face, I would genuinely worry if you married someone else. Too many people judge others only by appearance. But we know Li Ye inside and out. He would never treat you poorly. He's one of our own, so this isn't because he covets our family's power, and he isn't a man who spends his days drinking and chasing women. Don't rush to refuse. The war is frozen for now, and he has time. You can spend some time with him first and see whether he suits you. Will you at least do that?"

Shang Shuqing remained silent for a while, but in the end she still shook her head. "Brother, forget it. I don't want to marry. Living like this is fine. Please thank General Li for his goodwill and tell him I'm not worthy of him."

"What nonsense are you talking about? How are you not worthy of him?" Shang Chaozong grew anxious and caught her wrist. "What woman never marries? If you remain like this, how am I supposed to answer our dead parents, Eldest Brother, and Second Brother?"

Pain showed faintly in Shang Shuqing's expression. "Brother, are you really so eager to marry me off? Do you think I'm an eyesore staying here at home?"

"You... insolent!" Shang Chaozong flew into a rage and jerked her arm upward.

"Your Highness, Your Highness..." Lan Ruoting hurried forward, forced himself between the siblings, pulled Shang Chaozong's hand away, and separated them.

Shang Chaozong was furious enough to tremble. Pointing at Shang Shuqing, he said, "Marriage is a major matter and should follow the command of one's parents. Our parents are gone, so as your elder brother I can make the decision for you. As for this matter today, you'll agree whether you want to or not!"

Shang Shuqing said, "You said you wouldn't force me. Are you going back on your word?"

"Is this forcing you?" Shang Chaozong demanded. "I'm doing this for your own good. Li Ye was willing to speak up. You should be happy! Where are you going to find someone more suitable for you than Li Ye?"

"Brother, I already said I don't want to marry. Stop forcing me. If you keep forcing me, I'll leave!"

"You'll leave?" Shang Chaozong stared at her in fury. "In this chaotic world, where can you go? Are you tired of living?"

"I'll go to Maolu Villa!"

"Maolu Villa?" Shang Chaozong's face darkened. He shoved aside Lan Ruoting, who was still trying to mediate, and pointed at Shang Shuqing's nose. "Maolu Villa again! I knew it. I knew it! Did you think I didn't know what was in your heart? Niu Youdao! You like him, don't you?"

Driven to the limit, Shang Shuqing shot back directly, "I do like him! Am I not even allowed to choose whom I like? Brother, when did you become this overbearing?"

"Me? Overbearing?" Shang Chaozong pointed at himself and laughed from sheer anger. "You call this overbearing? I'm doing it for your own good! I don't want to see my sister suffer. I only want you to live well for the rest of your life!"

"Little Sister, stop clinging to an impossible fantasy. I know you like him, but these things require two willing hearts. You like him. He doesn't like you. Your one-sided feelings are useless! Niu Youdao—Master Dao—what kind of man is he? You've dealt with him all these years. Don't you know by now?"

"He holds wind and storm in his hand, with the pattern of Heaven and earth in his breast. His eyes look across ten thousand li, and thunder is all he hears at his ears. How could a man like that ever settle when choosing the person who will accompany him for life?"

"He's too rational. There is no romance between men and women in his eyes. Even if there were, an ordinary woman could never enter his sight—much less you. Don't you know what your own face looks like? You've combed his hair for so many years. I refuse to believe he doesn't understand your feelings. Even a stone would have warmed by now. But how has he treated you? Has he shown the slightest intention in that direction?"

"He simply doesn't want to say it too plainly and hurt you. He wants you to recognize the difficulty and retreat on your own. Don't you understand?"

Tears welled in Shang Shuqing's eyes. Those words had truly struck her where it hurt. Gentle by nature, she raised her voice. "You don't need to concern yourself with this!"

Shang Chaozong's hands trembled as if he wanted to tear open his own chest and show her his heart. "If I don't concern myself with your affairs, who will? Qing'er, what exactly do you see in him? If you're going to waste yourself waiting like this, you should at least be able to tell me why!"

Tears slid from Shang Shuqing's eyes. "Brother, don't force me. Please don't force me anymore. I don't know. I truly don't know. I can't explain what happened."

"The first time I saw him was beneath that peach tree, brilliant as rosy clouds. He was asleep beneath a rain of fallen blossoms. And somehow, I had this feeling I couldn't explain. It was as though he had been waiting there for me. He had been imprisoned there for five whole years, as though all of it had been only to wait for me to arrive. As though he would leave only when I came. As though, if I never appeared, he would remain there waiting forever. As though no one except me could take him away. He had been waiting for me all along..."

By then she was sobbing so hard she could barely speak. Shaking her head through her tears, she continued, "I knew the Shangqing Sect was only placating me. I didn't know him. I didn't understand him. Yet I still brought him down the mountain."

"I had reasons I could give, but in my heart I knew there seemed to be something unseen pushing me toward that decision. Even when I knew he might be of no use at all, I still had this inexplicable feeling that he was waiting for me."

"After we came down the mountain, even before he showed any ability, I would always notice him without thinking. I often found myself looking at him, as though he were the only person my eyes could see. From then on, no matter how crowded a place became, whenever I turned my head, somehow I could always find exactly where he was at the first glance."

"Men and women should keep proper distance. Before that, I had never imagined I would be alone in a room with a man who was not mine, much less that I would ever comb the hair of a man who was not mine. I would never have done something like that. Yet with him, even when we barely knew each other, somehow I simply did."

"Every time I combed his hair, I had a strange feeling. He would sit there with his back to me. It wasn't that he couldn't see me. It was only because his back was turned. It felt as though he knew I would certainly appear beside him. As though he wanted to see me, yet when he opened his eyes, the me he saw was only inside the mirror."

"He thought I was in the mirror, but in truth I was right behind him. Every time he opened his eyes and looked at me in the mirror, I would also look at him in that same mirror. Why did there have to be a mirror between us? I would always have this inexplicable urge—so strong—to make him turn around and look at me, to tell him I was right behind him. But my face is ugly. I never dared say it."

"All of you have tried, openly or indirectly, to persuade me to give up. But I always feel he won't give up on me. I always feel he came for me. That feeling is so strong that I'm willing to trust him without condition. Even when I see him paired with another woman, I still believe him."

"Brother, it truly is only an inexplicable feeling. I don't know why. I can't explain what it is. Perhaps Father and Mother sent him to help us from somewhere beyond our sight."

Lan Ruoting listened in stunned silence. Why did it sound as though the Commandery Princess had become muddleheaded, speaking almost like someone in a dream?

Shang Chaozong's expression twitched. He stared at his sister in disbelief. He had never seen her like this before. What was she even saying? Had she gone mad? Had longing driven her into some kind of obsession?

After taking a moment to recover, he spoke with painstaking patience. "Qing'er, stop dreaming. He doesn't want you. Don't keep hoping for something impossible. I also wish he could fulfill your heart's desire, but there is no hope. Don't keep dragging this out."

"He can afford to wait. Even if he waits until he's seventy or eighty, he could still find whatever kind of young beauty he wanted. Can you afford to wait? Qing'er, you're already no young maiden. Keep waiting and you'll ruin your entire life. Why won't you listen?"

"Fine. I'll ask you only one thing. Touch your own face. Do you dare stand in front of him and tell him with your own mouth that you like him?"

The final sentence hit Shang Shuqing hard. She raised her voice again. "Stop talking! I won't marry anyone. I'll live like this for the rest of my life. If you think I shouldn't stay here, you're the Prince. Your word is law in this place. You can order me driven out whenever you want!"

"You... Today I'll teach you a lesson in place of Father and Mother!"

Shang Chaozong lost his temper completely. Lan Ruoting hurriedly wrapped both arms around his waist to restrain him and shouted, "Commandery Princess, go back first!"

Shang Shuqing raised her sleeve to wipe away her tears and turned to leave.

At the doorway, however, she stopped and spoke with her back to them.

"Brother, I seldom involve myself in military and political affairs. I don't know much, and I don't know whether the decisions you're making are right or wrong. Too many people's lives are involved, so I don't dare interfere. But I do have one piece of advice: don't push matters to an absolute end."

"I don't know what others are capable of. But Master Dao's abilities... I believe he can come back. I firmly believe he will come back. Conduct yourselves carefully. Don't make such a mess that you leave yourselves no road to recover!"

With that, she wiped at her tears again and quickly departed.

After all these years, this was the first time she had ever spoken the feelings in her heart aloud in the heat of emotion.

Shang Chaozong was genuinely furious, breathing like an ox. "How did she become like this? Qing'er has always been intelligent. Why is she saying nothing but nonsense? How does a perfectly sensible person become like this?"

Lan Ruoting continued soothing him with gentle words. "Your Highness, don't be angry. There's no need. Young women can all be ruled by emotion at times. When the heart first awakens to love, these things are difficult to avoid. She'll get better. She'll get better."

Shang Chaozong turned and asked, "Her heart first awakening to love? Does she look like someone whose heart has only just awakened? She's already talking nonsense!"

"I'm worried now that her face has made her unable to accept herself, and that she's fallen into some kind of state of mind to escape from something. I've seen soldiers below us develop similar problems from fear after too much killing. The symptoms were very much like this."

"Uh..." Lan Ruoting froze. After thinking it over, he realized the possibility truly did exist. His expression turned grave. "I'll have a cultivator examine the Commandery Princess carefully."

Shang Chaozong nodded, then immediately reminded him, "Don't provoke her. Don't let her know she's being examined for an illness."

Lan Ruoting answered, "Your Highness can rest assured. I'll arrange it properly and won't arouse the Commandery Princess's suspicions."

[End of Chapter 793]