Chapter 1199: Resonance

Meng Shanming nodded. "Understood. The Princess Consort has been awake all night. Please go back and rest first."

Feng Ruonan looked back toward the room. "Ah!" She sighed, then took her leave with proper courtesy.

"Da'an, you go back as well," Meng Shanming said calmly.

"Yes!" Luo Da'an released the wheelchair and turned to leave. He had long since grown accustomed to obeying military orders.

The small courtyard fell quiet.

Meng Shanming stared at the open doorway in silence for a while, then called, "Commandery Princess, Meng Shanming pays his respects!"

There was no answer from inside.

So Meng Shanming called again. "Commandery Princess, Meng Shanming pays his respects! Commandery Princess, Meng Shanming pays his respects..."

Still there was no response.

He simply continued calling again and again, until even the female cultivator keeping watch inside could not resist poking her head out several times to look.

At last, a figure emerged.

Shang Shuqing finally appeared.

She looked at the lean old man sitting in his wheelchair beneath the faint chill of the morning breeze. The two stared at each other for a while.

In the end, Shang Shuqing stepped out and bowed. Her voice was dry. "Uncle Meng."

Meng Shanming turned his head toward the horizon, where the first pale light of dawn was appearing. "Daybreak has come. Would you walk with me for a while?"

Shang Shuqing lowered her head and said nothing.

Meng Shanming said nothing either.

He simply sat there quietly and waited.

After a long time, Shang Shuqing finally said softly, "Uncle Meng, please allow Qing'er to change her clothes."

She was still wearing yesterday's clothing.

She had not slept the entire night and had sat there until dawn without changing.

Meng Shanming said, "They look quite good."

Shang Shuqing replied, "I don't like dressing this way, but Sister-in-law insists on making me wear clothes like this."

Meng Shanming said, "The Princess Consort is becoming more and more particular. These aren't ceremonial robes, only everyday clothes. As long as they're comfortable, that's enough. If you don't like wearing them, then don't. I'll speak to the Princess Consort. She won't force you again."

"Uncle Meng, please wait a moment." Shang Shuqing turned around.

Meng Shanming called after her, "Girl, today I won't call you Commandery Princess. I'll call you girl instead."

"Go on, girl. I'll wait for you."

"It's just that I'm old now. My body grows worse with every passing year. I don't know how many more years I'll still be able to wait for you."

"Sometimes I feel your father and the others are waiting for me to go find them."

Shang Shuqing's body trembled.

Her steps paused slightly, then she entered the room and closed the door.

She did not keep Meng Shanming waiting long.

The door opened again.

When Shang Shuqing reappeared, she had changed into simple, loose, understated clothing. She walked straight behind Meng Shanming and personally turned his wheelchair around.

Meng Shanming said, "I heard you haven't taken even a drop of water all night. Drink some first."

Shang Shuqing said, "I'm not thirsty."

Since she said she was not thirsty, Meng Shanming did not press her.

Instead, he raised his voice toward someone else. "We'll take a walk. Cultivator, there is no need to follow."

The female cultivator assigned to protect them stopped immediately.

The wheelchair rolled out of the small courtyard.

Someone was watching the direction in which the two went. Seeing this, people hurried ahead to pass the word.

Servants who had risen early and were busy with their duties all avoided the route. Those with business nearby took detours.

In short, no one was allowed to disturb the two of them.

As the wheelchair rolled slowly onward, it was almost as though not a single other person existed along the road.

After they had gone some distance, Meng Shanming spoke again. "I heard you didn't take even a drop of water last night. You neither ate nor drank, neither cried nor laughed nor made a fuss. You simply sat there until dawn. Are you tired?"

"I'm not tired."

"When something weighs on the heart, time passes quickly. The body may not be tired, but the heart grows weary."

"Did Brother and the others ask Uncle Meng to come persuade Qing'er?"

"Perhaps they thought I was old enough to lean on my age and that you might give this old man a little face."

"There's no need to persuade me. Qing'er is fine. I only wanted to be quiet for a while, but Sister-in-law kept talking beside my ear on and off the entire night."

"Concealing what happened to Master Dao from you was, in truth, also for your own good."

"I understand. They hope I can marry Young Master Fu smoothly. They don't want anything unexpected to happen."

"You've been sensible since childhood, girl. So sensible it makes one's heart ache."

"Sometimes I truly wish you could be a little spoiled and willful, act a little more like a Commandery Princess."

"Smile when you're happy. Get angry when you're unhappy. Let yourself be more free."

"Don't keep everything bottled inside and wrong yourself in silence."

"It isn't that Qing'er is sensible. I simply knew from childhood that I wasn't good-looking and was afraid people would dislike me."

"The daughters born of the Shang bloodline have never been unattractive. Your natural foundation should not be poor."

"There were some things in the past that, for whatever reason, the late Prince refused to tell me while he was alive."

"When you fled the capital and came here, I saw you and remembered old matters. Later I asked Lan Ruoting what had happened back then."

"His explanation matched Luo Shaofu's—some nonsense about defying Heaven and changing fate, suffering first and tasting sweetness later. He probably doesn't know anything either."

"In any case, I don't believe that sort of mystical talk."

"That old fellow Dong Guo always liked pretending to be mysterious. If he could truly read fate, how could the late Prince have met with disaster?"

"I have no idea what tricks Dong Guo Haoran and that old bastard Luo Shaofu were playing, but somehow they turned you into this state. What a sin!"

"It's been so many years. Qing'er is long accustomed to it."

"Girl, your brother truly cares about you. There may be no one in this world who cares more."

"Concealing Master Dao's death from you was, from his position as your elder brother, genuinely for your sake."

"There was actually no need to hide it from me."

"Whether Master Dao was alive or dead, I understood perfectly well in my heart that he did not look upon me that way."

"Since I already agreed to marry, what difference does Master Dao's death make?"

"If something could not be changed while he lived, how could his death change it?"

"All of you thought too much."

"I know Brother cares about me."

"But there is one thing I wish to ask Uncle Meng. I hope Uncle Meng will answer truthfully."

"Ask."

"Back during the Battle of Jiaohu, I fell into enemy hands. The enemy used me as a hostage and demanded that Yan's army withdraw."

"If Master Dao had not rescued me... If I had not been saved, would Brother have ordered the Yan army to retreat for my sake?"

The question left Meng Shanming unable to answer.

Millions of soldiers had been locked in a life-and-death confrontation. Before that clash, countless men had already shed their blood and laid down their lives.

For Shang Chaozong to order a retreat merely for the sake of his younger sister...

Seeing his silence, Shang Shuqing smiled. "Qing'er already knows the answer."

Meng Shanming said, "The three great sects were personally overseeing the campaign. They would never have allowed the Prince to retreat."

"Uncle Meng, you don't need to say more. I understand."

"You understand that, but there are some things we don't understand."

"Girl, why did you order people to build a tomb?"

"I've seen life and death countless times, yet even I was somewhat frightened when I heard."

"You were afraid Qing'er would kill herself for love?"

"Uncle Meng, my household was destroyed when I was still young. My parents and elder brother died tragically, and afterward my only remaining brother was thrown into the imperial prison."

"That period was the hardest time in my life."

"Afraid we would be exterminated to the last member, I had no choice but to flee the capital and hide in the wilds with Mr. Lan and the others, moving from place to place."

"I don't even know how I endured those days."

"Fortunately, I finally lived to see Brother released from prison."

"If I endured the hardest period of my life, what else can I not endure now?"

"How could I do something foolish merely because of a one-sided love?"

"That's true. We underestimated you. Or perhaps concern simply made us lose perspective."

"But... then why build a tomb?"

"Qing'er followed Master Dao and served him for more than ten years. I still have some of his old belongings and have preserved them all this time."

"Brother and Sister-in-law hope Qing'er will marry Young Master Fu. Young Master Fu saw and heard some things yesterday."

"If he were to discover Master Dao's old belongings in the future, with so many things belonging to another man, Qing'er fears he might misunderstand."

"Qing'er only wants to build a cenotaph and bury those things completely."

"Oh. So that's what it is!"

"There is another thought behind it as well."

"Last night, Sister-in-law kept telling me on and off that Master Dao's remains are inside the Sacred Realm and cannot be retrieved for burial."

"Master Dao rendered enormous kindness to the Shang clan. Building a cenotaph will at least leave us somewhere to pay respects to him."

"Mm. That is only proper. A cenotaph is good."

"Bury those things."

"If there are some things that cannot be forgotten, then keep them in your heart."

"How could I forget?"

"Master Dao... I was the one who harmed him."

"He was willing to risk death itself to save me, and saved my life, yet I brought about his death."

"Qing'er will never forget him."

"Uncle Meng, Qing'er's heart hurts. It truly hurts so much."

"Qing'er won't let herself cry."

"Nonsense."

"The affairs inside the Sacred Realm are beyond the reach of ordinary mortals like us."

"We know nothing about what truly happened there."

"How could his death have anything to do with you?"

"I know your heart hurts, but no matter how badly it hurts, you cannot drag blame onto yourself without reason."

"No, Uncle Meng. You don't know."

"Master Dao was someone I invited out of Shangqing Sect."

"At the time, he had no confidence in us at all and did not want to come with us. He had no intention of becoming involved in these disputes."

"Halfway along the road, he even wanted to leave."

"I was the one who dragged him into this muddy water."

"If not for me, with his ability, he would certainly still be living perfectly well now."

"Qing'er killed him for the selfish interests of the Shang clan!"

Meng Shanming wanted very much to tell her that the bastard was not dead at all.

With that bastard's ability, he truly was living perfectly well even now.

He had merely moved from the light into the shadows and begun hiding behind the curtain to manipulate the larger situation.

Cunning as could be.

How could someone like that be so easy to kill?

Now Meng Shanming was beginning to develop a headache.

Only now did he fully realize that before, when they concealed news of Niu Youdao's death, they had been deceiving Shang Shuqing.

And now, by concealing the fact that Niu Youdao was still alive, they were deceiving Shang Shuqing yet again.

If one day Niu Youdao once more stood alive and well in front of Shang Shuqing, how was Meng Shanming supposed to explain himself with this old face of his?

They had taken a perfectly good young woman and deceived her half to death and back.

Would they have any shame left?

If the day came when Niu Youdao needed to show himself, Meng Shanming knew perfectly well that a man like Niu Youdao would never hide for the rest of his life merely because of Shang Shuqing's feelings.

What kind of mess was this?

Meng Shanming truly did not know what to make of Niu Youdao's habit of appearing and disappearing like a ghost.

Now he had taken it to an entirely new level, vanishing so thoroughly that he had actually "played himself dead."

What was this supposed to be?

It was far less straightforward than fighting on a battlefield.

He sighed. "Girl, life will always contain accidents you could never foresee. Live well. Nothing matters more than living well."

Shang Shuqing said, "When Qing'er was young, Mother forced me to study qin, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and song. She told me it was so I could live well in the future."

"Only after growing up did Qing'er understand that in this world, women and men are different."

"Men can pursue ideals and ambitions, win merit, and build careers. In the end, a woman's destination is simply marriage."

"Perhaps all the things I learned were only skills meant to please a man."

"Uncle Meng, tell me—is that what it means to live well?"

Meng Shanming said, "Is it not good to have someone you wish to please?"

"It is the same for men and women."

"If each can please the other, then that is living well. If neither can please the other, how could life be good?"

Shang Shuqing said, "But in this world there is no longer any man Qing'er sincerely wishes to please."

Meng Shanming's heart sank.

He understood.

This girl's heart had already died.

"Uncle Meng, it's a very strange feeling."

"I keep feeling that he's still here. I keep feeling he's still alive."

"Perhaps I simply refuse to accept reality, or perhaps everything I've felt all along has only been my own illusion."

"Yesterday, when I went to Maolu Annex, I felt as though he was there."

"The moment Qing'er entered the gate, my eyes began searching around without my even meaning to."

"I saw 'him' at a glance."

"Only afterward did I discover I'd mistaken someone else for him..."

Meng Shanming's heart suddenly lurched.

Back when Shang Shuqing had said those strange things before, everyone had thought she was becoming obsessed.

Meng Shanming had thought so too.

But now, suddenly, even he felt uncertain.

Could there truly be such a thing as "resonance" between people in this world?

"Uncle Meng, after Qing'er marries Young Master Fu, I will bear children, serve my husband, and teach my sons."

"The capital fell, my family was destroyed, and after all those hardships I accompanied Brother all the way to where we stand today."

"In the future, I'll have to begin all over again at Young Master Fu's side."

"Perhaps it won't be as difficult anymore?"

"But if one day the Fu family makes Brother unhappy, or Brother makes the Fu family unhappy, what should Qing'er do..."

Shang Shuqing seemed almost to be talking in her sleep.

She murmured to herself as she slowly pushed the wheelchair onward.

[End of Chapter 1199]