Chapter 62: He’s an Expert

The evening wind of the northern lands carried a bone-piercing chill.

Like countless knives, it carved wildly and chaotically across the earth.

Like third-rate sculptors who fancied themselves uniquely gifted, only to make such a mess of their work that in the end they could do nothing but pile everything beneath a blanket of white snow to avoid becoming a laughingstock.

Zheng Fan sat atop a heap of rubble.

He was no longer wearing the eye-searing armor from earlier that day.

Instead, he wore the dark-red hooded garment Feng Siniang had sewn for him.

Zheng Fan had once seen followers of the fire-worshipping religion that had spread into Tiger Head City from the Western Regions.

Dressed like this, he could probably blend in among them perfectly.

Ding Hao stood beside Zheng Fan, holding his long spear.

That spear had drunk its fill of blood today.

Zheng Fan reached out and patted the spot beside himself.

“Sit with me for a while.”

Ding Hao set down his spear and sat beside Zheng Fan.

Zheng Fan took a small iron box from his pocket.

He opened it, removed two cigarettes, and handed one to Ding Hao.

Then he took out a fire striker.

He lit his own cigarette first, then helped Ding Hao light his.

Cigarettes were still somewhat ahead of their time in this world.

But tobacco products such as water pipes and long smoking pipes had existed here for quite some time.

It was simply that the Emperor of Yan had not imposed taxes on tobacco products.

A considerable source of revenue had been wasted.

After all, in later generations, the country’s smokers—while suffering discrimination and damage to their health—contributed tobacco taxes every year with such fearless dedication that the amount was comparable to an entire year’s national defense budget.

Though cigarettes were a little ahead of the era, when Zheng Fan helped light his cigarette, Ding Hao still cupped both hands around the fire striker with a rather frightened and deferential posture.

Then he took a drag.

And immediately began coughing violently.

Turning his head, he saw Zheng Fan comfortably exhaling clouds of smoke.

Confusion appeared in his eyes.

He instinctively asked, “Master, is this stuff really pleasant to smoke?”

Zheng Fan flicked off some ash.

Then he recited a line that had once flourished for years in QQ profiles and personalized signatures in later generations:

“What I smoke isn’t tobacco.

“It’s loneliness.”

Ding Hao froze.

A feeling of profound admiration spontaneously arose within him.

For someone to utter such words, just how terrifyingly profound must his state of mind be?

What Ding Hao did not know was that in later generations, anyone saying those words would be looked at like an idiot.

“Do you know why I came here in the middle of the night?”

Ding Hao thought for a moment.

“To savor it again?”

“Savor it?”

“Mm.

“Actually, this subordinate also wants to return to Tuman City someday.

“I want to go back and look at the residence whose entire household I exterminated.”

Zheng Fan shook his head helplessly.

Just what kind of collection of psychopaths had gathered around him...?

The Blind Man and the others were one thing.

But Ding Hao was a native of this world.

Could it really be that flies only landed on cracked eggs?

“Actually, I don’t know why I came here either.

“I simply wanted to sit here for a while.”

This place was the Chen residence.

The soldiers’ rampage during the day had practically ground the entire estate into rubble.

Everything inside including the cellars had been looted clean.

For the ordinary soldiers, this had been their revenge against Registrar Chen.

That had not prevented them from conveniently stuffing a few nice things into their own pockets along the way.

As a result, Zheng Fan’s reputation among Tiger Head City’s soldiers was now extremely good.

Not only had he stood up for them, he had also led everyone into making a small fortune.

“What?

“You don’t understand?”

Seeing Ding Hao remain silent, Zheng Fan asked him directly.

Ding Hao shook his head.

Then nodded.

Finally, an extremely conflicted expression appeared on his face.

“Master, if I may speak from the heart...”

“When you’re speaking from the heart, you don’t need to call me Master.

“I can call you Big Brother.

“You can call me...

“Little Brother.”

“Uh...

“This subordinate wouldn’t dare.”

“Then it isn’t from the heart.”

Sweat began appearing on Ding Hao’s face.

He had no choice but to turn toward Zheng Fan with great respect.

“Little Brother...”

“Mm.”

“Mas—Little Brother.

“To tell the truth, at first I thought you were very cold-blooded.

“But sometimes I feel you’re actually quite humane.

“A lot of the time, even this elder brother of yours can’t quite see through you.”

“I’m melodramatic.”

“Melodramatic?”

Ding Hao began chewing over the word.

The more he tasted it, the more flavorful it became.

The more he considered it, the more accurate it seemed.

“Little Brother, I once heard people say that the scholars of the State of Qian love this sort of thing.

“One moment they’re grieving over the autumn wind.

“The next they’re feeling sorry for the evening glow.”

Hearing this, Zheng Fan laughed.

He reached out and patted Ding Hao on the shoulder.

“I understand now.”

With that, Zheng Fan stood and stretched.

Ding Hao immediately rose as well.

“Master, what do you understand?”

“My life has simply been too comfortable.

“That’s why I have the luxury of being melodramatic.

“Actually, when I was little, even though my parents separated early and my father didn’t really take care of me, I was never short of money for food, drink, or school.

“I never experienced famine.

“I never truly suffered.

“You wake up from sleep and someone has already arranged everything for you.

“Every day, there’s basically nothing you need to do yourself.

“Even when you do something, it’s like being the Crown Prince.

“There’s a whole crowd of people beside you studying along with you.”

Had an outsider heard such an irreverent analogy, they might have been shocked speechless.

Ding Hao, however, did not take it seriously.

“In the future, I really can’t keep being melodramatic.”

Zheng Fan looked around.

He gazed over the Chen residence, now reduced to ruins.

The world of later generations might devour people too, but at least it did so beneath a veneer of warmth.

At the very least, in that era, someone with a terminal illness might genuinely lack the money for treatment.

But to say someone would simply starve to death by the roadside while nobody cared?

That was not very realistic.

This world, however once he had chosen this road, he could no longer afford such sentimentality.

Those two thousand civilian laborers who had been used as bait.

The Chen residence that had vanished into smoke today because the secretary had overstepped his authority and shouted a single word—

“Kill.”

This place was countless times bloodier than even the war-torn regions of later generations.

Zheng Fan drew a deep breath.

He clenched his teeth.

Then muttered to himself, “I can’t keep being dead weight.”

At that moment, Feng Siniang appeared ahead and slowly approached.

Seeing her, Ding Hao immediately left on his own.

He knew Zheng Fan and Siniang had a master-servant relationship.

But he had also personally seen Siniang emerge from Zheng Fan’s room that morning.

Feng Siniang draped a cloak over Zheng Fan’s shoulders.

Softly, she asked, “Master, shall this servant sit with you a little longer?”

“No need.

“Let’s go back and pack.

“We leave tomorrow.”

“All right.

“When we return, this servant will attend to you.”

“Playing with needles again?”

Feng Siniang shot Zheng Fan a coquettish look.

Her eyes were full of spring.

“If Master no longer wants to play with needles, we can play cards.

“Or dice.

“Anything is fine.”

“You’re good at gambling?”

“Mm.

“This servant is good at being the house.”

...

An ordinary person’s birthday was simply that person’s birthday.

If one wanted to be a little more literary and refined, one could buy a bouquet of flowers on one’s birthday and give it to one’s mother:

A child’s birthday is the day his mother suffered in childbirth.

Then mother and son could embrace and weep.

Zheng Fan had also heard this from Ding Hao.

The scholars of the State of Qian apparently loved this sort of thing.

Someone would celebrate a birthday and somehow make it feel like a funeral, all for the sake of earning a reputation for filial piety.

But once a person’s status rose high enough, their birthday became a festival.

The fiftieth birthday of the Marchioness of Zhenbei was a festival for all of Beifeng Commandery.

Starting at around eight in the morning, Zheng Fan waited at the city gate on horseback together with the disguised Feng Siniang and Ding Hao.

Wang Duan and the other four Centurions arrived punctually with their soldiers.

The moment they arrived, they knelt and reported to Zheng Fan.

When they first met yesterday, they had merely lowered their posture.

Today?

What the hell was “posture”?

Nearly five hundred soldiers were present.

Every face was filled with joy.

Yesterday, they had made a modest fortune.

Today, they would follow Lord Zheng to the residence of the Marquis of Zhenbei.

Who knew?

Perhaps they might receive some reward there as well.

Everyone was in an excellent mood.

But the gifts from one household after another continued arriving.

Even by noon, they still had not all been assembled.

Cart followed cart.

Servants sent by the various households to assist with transportation ran back and forth.

Outside Tiger Head City, the scene was as lively as a market fair.

At last, the final household’s gift arrived.

It came in a large carriage.

Of course, that was only the exterior.

Inside was an iron cage containing a snow wolf whose entire body was red.

It was not some particularly powerful demonic beast.

But a red snow wolf was genuinely rare.

It had been sent by Xu Clan Fort.

Clearly, they had put considerable thought into the gift.

Snow wolves were delicate creatures.

There were even people inside the carriage tending to it, ensuring that the wolf would still be alive when delivered to the residence of the Marquis of Zhenbei.

Finally, everything was ready.

Zheng Fan, who had long since grown impatient from waiting, immediately gave the order to depart.

They traveled until nightfall.

Then Zheng Fan ordered the convoy to make camp.

Wang Duan and the others personally arranged the defenses.

There was no need for Zheng Fan to concern himself.

Besides, they had already encountered two groups of Zhenbei Army scout cavalry along the road.

That meant they were now directly within the Zhenbei Army’s sphere of control.

Security was quite high.

Zheng Fan walked to the carriage.

The two servants from Xu Clan Fort beside it recognized him.

When they saw Zheng Fan climb aboard, they did not stop him.

They obediently moved aside.

Zheng Fan opened the carriage door.

He bent down and entered.

When he straightened again, he saw that more than half the interior was occupied by the iron cage.

The red snow wolf inside looked rather sickly and listless.

It lay there dozing without much spirit.

Outside the cage, leaning against one wall of the carriage, sat an enormous fat man enthusiastically eating roast chicken.

The smell inside the carriage was obviously terrible.

After all, the snow wolf ate, drank, pissed, and shit in here.

Yet the fat man’s appetite remained excellent.

Seeing Zheng Fan enter, the fat man tore off a large drumstick and offered it to him.

Zheng Fan shook his head.

“I’ve eaten.”

“Heh heh.

“How did you know this official was here?”

Xu Wenzu asked curiously.

“Sir, with your build, if you wanted to slip into the convoy without being discovered, where else could you possibly hide?”

“That’s true.

“Sigh.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Zheng Fan carefully examined the surroundings.

He was trying to determine whether Xu Wenzu had a bodyguard nearby.

When important figures traveled, there was a high probability they brought experts with them.

Even when Kangxi traveled incognito, he still had Fayin and San Dezi beside him.

Zheng Fan continued observing.

But verbally, he naturally offered the proper pleasantries.

“Hiding in here must truly have been difficult for you, sir.”

Xu Wenzu laughed without the slightest concern.

“Not at all.

“Not at all.

“I’ve spent more than half my life as an official and more than half my life as a beast in official robes.

“Now I’m riding in the same carriage as an actual beast.

“It’s only fitting.”

“Your openness of mind is something I can only admire from afar.”

“Heh.

“You’re still young.

“Experience more things and you’ll understand.”

“Indeed.

“I still have much to learn from you, sir.”

At that moment, the carriage door opened again.

A somewhat slovenly middle-aged man with messy hair climbed inside.

After entering, the man sat directly beside Zheng Fan.

He removed his shoes and began picking at his feet.

Zheng Fan glanced at him.

His heart tightened slightly.

He immediately became vigilant.

This should be Xu Wenzu’s bodyguard.

Slovenly clothes.

Disheveled hair.

Cloudy eyes.

The smell of alcohol.

No concern for etiquette.

Picking his feet right in front of everyone, then even lifting his fingers beneath his nose for a sniff.

What was this?

This was practically the standard appearance of a hidden expert!

Fuck.

This just became troublesome.

Xu Wenzu offered the man the chicken drumstick he had previously tried to give Zheng Fan.

The man did not stand on ceremony.

He took it and started eating.

Zheng Fan watched closely.

It seemed the relationship between these two was anything but ordinary.

They had already gone beyond the boundaries of master and servant.

Bribery was probably impossible.

A personal bodyguard of Xu Wenzu, a man who had spent half his life weathering the storms of officialdom, being bought off with money and turning traitor?

That would be looking down on the man far too much.

After finishing the drumstick, the man reached out to Xu Wenzu for more.

Xu Wenzu chuckled and handed him the remaining half of the chicken.

Only then did the man happily climb back out of the carriage while eating.

Before leaving, he even farted.

A very foul fart.

Pfffft...

Zheng Fan immediately held his breath.

“Cough, cough, cough...”

Xu Wenzu was choked into violent coughing.

The stench even brought tears to his eyes.

At the same time, he laughed.

“That beast stinks.

“This official doesn’t think much of it.

“But when a person farts, I genuinely can’t stand it.

“Tell me, isn’t that ridiculous?”

“Beasts are supposed to stink.

“If they didn’t, they’d have become spirits.”

“Yes.

“Yes, that’s the logic.

“One is natural.

“One is unnatural.

“Actually, humans stinking is natural too.

“But living as a human is itself not a natural thing.

“People have seven emotions and six desires.

“People have things they seek.

“Things they cling to.

“Beasts have those things too, of course.

“But compared with humans, they fall far short.”

“Thank you for the lesson, sir.”

Then Zheng Fan tentatively added, “Why don’t I have someone prepare another meal?”

“No need, no need.

“This official has already eaten his fill,” Xu Wenzu said.

“What about that gentleman just now?

“I doubt half a roast chicken was enough to fill him.”

Xu Wenzu stared at Zheng Fan in astonishment.

Then, puzzled, he asked, “Wasn’t that man one of yours?”

“...” Zheng Fan!

(End of Chapter)