Chapter 78: A Sister Lin Falls from Heaven

The rain kept falling.

Because Beifeng Commandery bordered the desert, its climate had always been predominantly dry.

Elsewhere, Heaven often suffered from frequent urination, urgent urination, and incomplete urination.

Beifeng Commandery was even worse.

Heaven simply could not piss at all.

Clouds would gather.

The north wind would blow.

They would tease you and rub against you until the skin broke yet there would still be nothing but thunder and no rain.

So this downpour had been exceedingly difficult to come by.

And exceedingly satisfying.

At least in the Blind Man Bei’s opinion, this was the heaviest rain he had seen here since arriving in this world more than half a year ago.

On the upper terrace of Mei Clan Fort, the Blind Man Bei sat beside a table.

Before him stood a small red-clay stove with a wine pot warming atop it.

A lantern also rested on the table.

Its red paper shade cast the second floor of the terrace in a dim crimson glow beneath the rainy darkness.

Combined with the sound of the Blind Man’s erhu, the entire scene had become so saturated with the atmosphere of *Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio* that it practically dripped.

It almost felt as though countless fox spirits, unable to restrain their lovesick hearts any longer, might burst from the black night at any moment and act out some moving romance destined to be told for a thousand years.

“New wine brewed with green ants, A little red-clay stove.

“Evening falls and Heaven sends rain—

“Will you drink a cup with me?”

Winter’s boots made dull thuds against the stairs, disrupting the Blind Man Bei’s mood as he played.

Winter’s speech already carried the tone of translated prose.

When he recited poetry, the mismatch became even stronger.

In later generations, a foreigner could speak a few fluent lines of Mandarin, sing a reasonably competent Chinese song, then finish with “I love China” and harvest endless applause and emotional praise.

But the Blind Man Bei clearly did not belong to the group of people who would be moved by such things.

If anything, he was beginning to actively dislike this illegitimate Roman noble.

Because whether Winter began with:

“The weather is pretty good today,” or:

“I’m a little constipated today,” he could always somehow steer the conversation toward:

“Let’s go play the piano!”

The Blind Man Bei sighed.

He lowered the erhu.

Having received no response, Winter looked somewhat awkward.

But he still walked over to the table on his own, sat, picked up the wine bowl with familiar ease, then carefully lifted the wine pot from the stove and poured himself a cup.

After two mouthfuls, Winter narrowed his eyes.

“This wine is somewhat cloudy.

“But it perfectly suits the atmosphere tonight.

“All the flavors of life are probably something like this.”

Naturally, Mei Clan Fort’s wine was not some low-grade “green-ant wine.”

That sort of thing was too crude for respectable tables.

Before Mei Wannian died, he had possessed decent business instincts.

Mei Clan Fort’s wine was brewed with flower petals and even certain medicinal herbs, then sold under slogans claiming it could cure every illness and strengthen the body.

Unfortunately, before Mei Clan medicinal liquor could truly become successful, the “Mei” character in Mei Clan Fort had already been replaced by “Zheng.”

“You should go to the State of Qian,” the Blind Man Bei said.

People from Qian loved this sort of mood.

Yan people were not particularly fond of sour poetry and pretentious sentiment.

Perhaps it was because Qian was so materially abundant that it could support an entire class of scholars and poets who ate their fill and then had nothing better to do than become emotional.

Yan was different.

Men either joined the army and went north to kill barbarians, or went south to rob Qian and Jin.

Who had the leisure to sit around moaning without illness?

“Five hundred sets of armor have already entered storage.

“Six hundred superior warhorses have been placed in the stables.

“Sabers, spears, and powerful crossbows have also been sealed and inspected.

“So I’m curious.

“Mr. Bei’s mood seems worse than before, rather than better.”

“It’s raining.”

“Oh?

“The rain has affected Mr. Bei’s mood?

“Yes.

“Rainy days always make people melancholic.”

“My rheumatism is acting up.”

“...”

Winter.

Silence was Mei Clan Fort tonight.

“Winter,” the Blind Man Bei said.

“Go ahead.”

“I’ll give you another gift.”

“You are far too polite.

“The last one...”

Winter lifted his hands slightly beneath his chest.

“I’ve already ordered people to manufacture it.

“I can guarantee that in Rome— indeed, throughout the entire West it will create a trend!”

“This one is complimentary.”

“Oh?

“What else does Mr. Bei have to teach me?

“Or perhaps, what value do I still possess that Mr. Bei can squeeze out of me?”

Winter could swear that this blind man was the most difficult person he had ever encountered in his entire life.

“I want nothing.”

“Is it rain falling tonight?

“I thought perhaps gold was falling from the sky.”

“I genuinely want nothing.

“This is merely a friendly reminder offered from the standpoint of a friend.”

Winter’s gaze sharpened.

Because in business, when someone said “friend,” it meant: cut him, cheat him, chop him into pieces!

“A great wind is about to rise in the north.

“You should pull back your business operations for the time being.”

“Oh?

“Mr. Bei has people inside the imperial court?”

“Immortals in the heavens can ask the Thunder Duke and Lightning Mother whether rain will fall tomorrow.

“But farmers on earth can reach the same conclusion by looking at the clouds and the movements of rats and ants.

“Winter.

“Don’t you think your procurement of these weapons and warhorses went a little too smoothly this time?”

“A little.

“I was wondering about that myself.”

“Weapons.

“Grain.

“Warhorses.

“All are materials Beifeng Commandery lacks desperately.

“Even smuggling cannot usually produce them in large volumes.

“But this time, all of those things suddenly became far more abundant on the market.”

“Mr. Bei.

“I already have people investigating the matter.”

“We Easterners have a tradition.

“Before cutting off someone’s head, we give him a good meal first.”

“Please make your meaning clearer, Mr. Bei.”

“I’ve already said enough.”

“That isn’t very friendly of you.

“You’re still making me guess for myself.”

“I told you.

“This is complimentary.”

“Then why give it to me?”

“Because if I ever need another Western merchant to do business with in the future, I’m too lazy to go through the entire process of knocking on someone’s door again.”

“That reason is flawless.”

The Blind Man Bei said nothing more.

He bent down.

Lifted the wine pot from the stove.

Then took a bamboo skewer from beside him and used it to hook a handkerchief out of the wine.

With both hands, he carefully squeezed it dry.

Then pressed the cloth to his face.

He rubbed gently.

Afterward, he removed it and meticulously wiped his left hand.

Then his right.

Beside him, Winter’s eyes changed from bright to cloudy to faintly green.

His body began twitching continuously.

Finally, when he saw the Blind Man Bei lift the handkerchief beneath his nose—

“PFFFFT...”

The sound of him blowing his nose had barely emerged when Winter instantly doubled over.

He opened his mouth and supplied accompaniment:

“BLEEEGH...”

...

“I’m telling you, your fur is really comfortable.

“Why don’t you shave it all off and give it to me?

“I’ll make myself a quilt.”

“Give me the thing between your legs to sharpen my teeth on, and I’ll give you all my fur.”

Xue San and the husky lay together on the first floor.

More precisely, the husky lay on the floor, and Xue San lay on top of the husky.

Man and dog had gotten along exceptionally well lately.

The husky felt it had been influenced profoundly.

Such a tiny man actually concealed such enormous quantities of filth and depravity inside his body!

The husky felt it was no longer pure.

But strangely, it did not dislike the feeling.

Compared with the relationship between the Blind Man and Winter upstairs, this man and dog had genuinely developed some affection.

The husky wagged its tail.

“What do you think the two upstairs are talking about?”

“Whatever they’re discussing, they’re definitely making it mysterious.

“What they care about isn’t the result.

“It’s the experience of the process.”

“Yes.

“I get that feeling too.”

The husky agreed.

Xue San stretched.

“What do you think about that Pixiu matter I mentioned last time?”

“I remember telling you.

“Pixiu don’t have a back door.”

The husky felt one could lose in life but never lose in posture.

At least verbally, it absolutely could not back down.

Xue San chuckled.

He replied with two words and one little interjection.

“You do.”

“...”

The husky.

At that moment, Winter descended the stairs.

His face was somewhat pale.

His steps were unsteady.

He had even forgotten his umbrella.

He simply walked straight into the curtain of rain.

The husky stood.

It wagged its tail in farewell to Xue San, then followed Winter into the downpour.

Xue San stood upright and brushed dog fur from his clothing.

Then he raised his head.

The Blind Man Bei was descending with a lantern in hand.

“So.

“What did you do to the kid?

“He looked like he’d lost his soul coming down.”

“A wind is coming.

“I told him to go home and collect his laundry.”

“Tch.”

The Blind Man Bei reached the bottom floor.

He grabbed an umbrella, but did not immediately open it or step outside.

“What?

“Something on your mind?” Xue San asked.

“Too many things.

“I don’t even know which one I should worry about first.”

“So that’s why you’re blind.

“You spend all day worrying blindly.”

“Mm.”

“Master and Siniang went to escort the birthday tribute.

“Liang Cheng, A’Ming, and the others went recruiting and still haven’t returned.

“Worrying about their side won’t help.

“We’ve already finished our own work.

“Weapons.

“Grain.

“Warhorses.

“Everything is prepared.

“The warehouses here at Mei Clan Fort are packed so tightly now you couldn’t squeeze anything else inside.

“I imagine if Mei Wannian knew from the underworld, he’d smile with satisfaction.”

“Mm.”

“Stop worrying.

“Master is a fortunate man blessed by heaven.

“Nothing will happen.

“Take ten thousand steps backward.

“If something genuinely happened to Master, we would be able to feel it.”

If Master were gone, then they would probably... have problems too.

“The northern climate is still too dry.

“It’s bad for the lungs.

“Bad for the skin too.”

“Oh?

“Tired of the northern wind and sand?

“Thinking of moving south?”

“I have considered it.

“But we still need to wait until Master returns before discussing it.”

“That’ll be difficult.

“We’ve only just built up a little property.

“We’re no longer barefoot wanderers with nothing to lose.

“Master may not be willing to abandon it.

“Forget Master— would *we* truly be willing?”

“That is true.”

“All right.

“If you still feel depressed, how about Lord Xue personally sings something to cheer you up?”

Xue San was exceptionally skilled at Yue opera.

He had once performed it on the inn’s stage.

Unfortunately, the rough men of the north could not appreciate that sort of theater.

They preferred dirty jokes.

“If you want to sing, I’ll accompany you.”

The Blind Man Bei readily agreed.

“Let’s go!”

Xue San raised one hand and struck a stage pose.

The Blind Man Bei crossed his left leg over his right knee.

His body sat down.

There was no chair beneath him, yet he somehow “sat” perfectly steadily in midair.

Erhu in hand.

Ready.

“You start.”

“Ahem...”

Xue San cleared his throat.

Then immediately began one of the most famous passages from the Yue opera adaptation of *Dream of the Red Chamber*:

“A Sister Lin falls from heaven, Like a wisp of light cloud leaving the mountain—”

BOOOOOOM!!!

A tremendous crash cut off Xue San’s singing.

It also broke the Blind Man Bei’s erhu accompaniment.

A zombie radiating monstrous baleful energy dropped into Mei Clan Fort.

It landed before the terrace.

It landed directly in the curtain of rain before the Blind Man Bei and Xue San.

Xue San coughed several times.

Then said, “Sweet merciful heavens.

“Sister Lin... what the hell happened to you?”

(End of Chapter)