Chapter 80: Edict of Self-Reproach

By the time Zheng Fan led the convoy back to Tiger Head City, it was already afternoon.

The troops disbanded outside the city gate.

The forces belonging to the original five Centurions, together with the servants and retainers cobbled together from the various clans around Tiger Head City, all returned to their own homes and went looking for their own mothers.

To be fair, for Zheng Fan’s first time commanding troops, the sight genuinely gave him the illusion that a dynasty had collapsed.

Fortunately, he could take it in stride.

These men had never truly belonged to him.

His future army was still being led toward Tiger Head City by A’Ming and Fan Li.

They would probably need another four or five days before reaching the city.

At the gate, a registrar waited with several clerks.

There was no need for Zheng Fan to make another trip to the yamen.

They completed the handover there and then.

Truthfully, it was little more than ceremony.

The State of Qian maintained extraordinarily strict control over military authority and warriors.

Its suspicion had practically reached the point of abnormality.

Even during wartime, civil officials were often placed in overall command while military officers served merely as assistants.

But in the State of Yan especially in Beifeng Commandery apart from the Zhenbei Army, most other troops were essentially private soldiers belonging to individual clans.

You could design all the procedures you liked.

You could produce the finest tiger tallies imaginable.

None of it changed one basic fact: these soldiers had grown up eating food from a particular clan’s kitchens.

Of course, the Zhenbei Army itself was simply the largest example.

If one insisted on calling all three hundred thousand Zhenbei troops the Li Clan’s private army, it would not be entirely wrong.

When Zheng Fan returned to the residence, Fangcao had already led the servants in preparing a welcoming meal.

But Zheng Fan was in no hurry to eat.

He went directly to the rear courtyard.

The bathing pool had already been filled.

After removing his clothes, Zheng Fan climbed into the water together with his son.

Even in the modern era of his previous life, for most people in China, being able to take a hot bath inside one’s own home had only become commonplace within the last ten or twenty years.

Earlier than that, bathing especially in winter usually meant going to a public bathhouse.

And back in those days, going out for a bath really did mean nothing more than going out for a bath...

But moving from frugality to luxury was easy.

Returning from luxury to frugality was hard.

It was not that Zheng Fan was some obsessive clean freak.

But as a modern person thrown back into an ancient world, one of the things he longed for most was simply being able to soak comfortably in hot water every day.

“Gurgle, gurgle...”

The stone continued floating across the bathing pool.

Zheng Fan rested both arms along the edge, eyes closed.

From the day he left Tiger Head City until his return, food had never been much of a problem.

But being able to soak like this had become an enormous luxury.

“After we go south, the new residence absolutely needs a bathing pool too.”

“Gurgle, gurgle...”

At that moment, Fangcao’s voice sounded outside.

“Master, someone from the yamen has brought a message.”

Zheng Fan wiped one hand across his face.

“What is it?”

“The Pacification Commissioner invites Master to a banquet.”

“Pacification Commissioner?”

Zheng Fan froze.

Then asked, “Which Pacification Commissioner?”

He remembered very clearly that when Shatuo Que Shi came knocking at the gates, he had smashed the carriage into the ceremonial archway.

The carriage, together with the horses harnessed to it, had been reduced to a pulpy mess.

The red snow wolf being transported as a gift had naturally become original-flavor wolf mince.

“Uh... it should be the same Pacification Commissioner as before.

“The day before yesterday, this servant even saw the Commissioner’s convoy returning to the city after inspecting the frontier.”

Xu Wenzu wasn’t dead?

Zheng Fan frowned.

Then shouted toward the door, “I know.”

“This servant withdraws.”

Zheng Fan climbed out of the bathing pool.

While he was changing clothes, Siniang pushed open the door and walked in.

Unlike Fangcao, she had no reservations about entering whether Zheng Fan was bathing or not.

After all, they were family.

She knew the length and proportions perfectly well.

“Master.

“Xu Wenzu is still alive.”

Clearly, after receiving the yamen’s message, Siniang had specially gone to investigate.

Only now had she returned with a confirmed report.

“Tell Liang Cheng to prepare.

“If necessary, we retreat directly to Mei Clan Fort.”

“All right, Master.”

Yes.

Zheng Fan had no intention of attending the banquet.

One Hongmen Banquet made for a legendary story.

Attending them every few days was how you got yourself killed.

Zheng Fan cherished his life.

He had no desire to throw it away over one meal.

Leaving the rear courtyard, Zheng Fan entered the front hall.

A table was covered in dishes.

Zheng Fan sat down alone.

He poured himself wine and began eating.

Not long afterward, Fangcao entered the hall again.

Before she could say anything, a vigorous laugh sounded behind her.

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng!

“You’ve worked hard on the road!

“Worked hard indeed!”

That was Comrade Deep Sea’s voice.

Zheng Fan immediately stood.

Whatever he thought inside, he still walked to the entrance of the hall and bowed toward Xu Wenzu, who was striding over from the main gate.

“This subordinate greets Your Excellency!”

“Ah, no need, no need.

“No formalities.

“No formalities.”

Xu Wenzu had lost weight.

A great deal of weight.

But because his starting foundation had been so enormous, he was still very fat.

Xu Wenzu grabbed Zheng Fan’s hand.

His gaze swept the surroundings.

Just as Zheng Fan began wondering whether this enormous fatty might suddenly pull a dagger and die together with him, Xu Wenzu asked, “Is it convenient to speak here?”

“Your Excellency, rest assured.

“Everyone in this residence is one of our own.”

“Good.

“Good.”

Xu Wenzu walked straight to the table and sat.

He poured himself wine.

Then drank three cups in succession.

Afterward, he lost composure and covered his face.

A sound resembling sobbing emerged.

Perhaps because the man was too fat, his crying and choking sounded almost exactly like ordinary snoring.

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“This old man... this old man nearly thought

I would never see you again in this life!”

“Why does Your Excellency say that?”

Zheng Fan sat back down.

He originally intended to reach out and clasp Xu Wenzu’s hand.

But after noticing that the hand was covered in tears, snot, and other similar substances, he hesitated and thought better of it.

“Your Excellency.

“This subordinate truly never expected that after returning, I would still be able to see you.

“This subordinate always thought... thought...”

Zheng Fan was desperately brewing emotion.

He intended to squeeze out a few tears.

Unfortunately, perhaps because he had drunk some wine earlier, what he forcibly squeezed out instead was—

“Hic!”

A drunken hiccup.

Zheng Fan immediately lowered his head.

After so many days eating desert sand, his acting skills had clearly regressed far too much.

Fortunately, Xu Wenzu did not care about such details.

Instead, he reached out and tried to grab Zheng Fan’s hand.

Zheng Fan withdrew his hand.

What Xu Wenzu received instead was the whole roast chicken Zheng Fan actively shoved toward him.

Holding the chicken, Xu Wenzu froze.

Zheng Fan said emotionally, “Your Excellency.

“You’ve lost weight.”

“Haven’t I!

“Haven’t I!”

Zheng Fan had struck directly at the saddest place in his heart.

Xu Wenzu lowered his head and bit into the roast chicken.

While chewing vigorously, he wailed, “Three days!

“This official was lost in the desert for three whole days!

“I even exhausted one of my two horses to death.

“Only then did I finally manage to return!”

Zheng Fan’s mind began turning rapidly.

At the same time, he noticed several thin threads coiled around the beams above the hall.

That meant

Siniang, Liang Cheng, and the others were already on guard outside.

They were telling Zheng Fan there was no need to worry.

“Your Excellency.

“How did you survive?

“Later, this subordinate wept for days and nights beside the wreckage of that carriage.

“At the time, when I saw that barbarian thief lift the carriage you were hiding inside, I nearly went mad.

“Then when I saw him smash the carriage against the ceremonial archway, I completely lost my reason.

“I drew my saber and prepared to fight that barbarian thief to the death!

“Your Excellency’s kindness toward this subordinate is as weighty as a mountain.

“In this life, aside from the Princess, no one has treated this subordinate with greater generosity and benevolence than Your Excellency!

“At that time, Centurion Yang Wenzhi also displayed a loyal and righteous heart.

“He drew his saber and willingly accompanied this subordinate.

“A long road reveals the strength of a horse.

“Time reveals the heart of a man.

“Even now, this subordinate greatly admires Centurion Yang Wenzhi’s character.

“Who could have imagined that after realizing he had no path of survival, that barbarian thief would actually attempt to assassinate an imperial prince?

“If a prince were killed within the territory of the Marquis’s residence, would that not hand the imperial court the perfect excuse to slander the Marquis’s residence?

“And because this subordinate had already gone mad from the news of Your Excellency’s ‘death,’

I charged forward without hesitation and fought that barbarian thief with my saber.”

At this point, Zheng Fan deliberately exposed the bandaged wound on his abdomen to Xu Wenzu.

“Fortunately, Heaven had eyes.

“The barbarian thief was slain.

“The prince did not die.

“And this subordinate was fortunate enough to be rescued.

“Only Centurion Yang Wenzhi... he was actually smashed apart by one punch from the barbarian.

“Not even an intact corpse could be recovered.

“Sigh.”

Xu Wenzu listened to Zheng Fan’s account.

Then looked at Zheng Fan’s wound.

Combining all of that with the information he had received from the Marquis’s residence after returning, he immediately said, “Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“You have suffered.”

“Half this subordinate’s life belongs to the Princess.

“The other half was given by Your Excellency.

“This is only what this subordinate ought to do.

“But Your Excellency— you still haven’t told this subordinate how you survived.”

“Sigh...

“It was simply good luck.

“At that time, this official happened to have some discomfort in the stomach.

“So I got out of the carriage and went somewhere to relieve myself.”

“...”

Zheng Fan!

You bastard.

How can your luck be this fucking good?!

I specifically had Shatuo Que Shi smash you to death so everything could be settled once and for all.

And now you’re telling me you happened to go take a shit?

If it had been any other reason, fine.

But hearing this reason made Zheng Fan genuinely want to pick up a saber and chop the fatty in front of him to pieces!

“Your Excellency’s fortune reaches the heavens!”

Zheng Fan ground out each word individually.

Then, he immediately calmed himself and continued asking, “Your Excellency.

“Since you were unharmed, why didn’t you come find this subordinate?”

In truth, Zheng Fan knew perfectly well why Xu Wenzu had not.

At the time, Zheng Fan had been inside the Marquis’s residence.

Unless Xu Wenzu exposed his identity, there was no way he could enter.

Meanwhile, Yang Wenzhi the mole responsible for maintaining contact with Xu Wenzu inside the convoy had already been sliced into many pieces by Siniang.

He could no longer provide assistance.

Most importantly, Xu Wenzu’s identity as Pacification Commissioner could not be exposed before the Marquis’s residence!

“Sigh.”

Xu Wenzu sighed.

Zheng Fan immediately added another blade.

“This subordinate once informed the Old Marchioness about Your Excellency.

“I spoke of Your Excellency’s loyalty toward the Marquis’s residence.

“At the time, this subordinate thought that since Your Excellency had already sacrificed your life for the Marquis’s residence, the residence absolutely could not be permitted to forget your deeds.

“Only...”

“Only what?”

Xu Wenzu immediately pressed.

“The Old Marchioness replied with only three words.”

“Which three?”

“She said:

‘I know.’”

“‘I know’?

“‘I know’...

“‘I know.’”

A look of sudden enlightenment appeared on Xu Wenzu’s face.

He immediately threw away the roast chicken, which he had already eaten nearly half of.

Then he left the table, knelt facing north, and solemnly kowtowed three times.

Zheng Fan was startled enough to rise as well.

“The Old Marchioness’s grace!

“The Old Marchioness’s grace!”

“Your Excellency.

“What exactly is going on?”

Zheng Fan asked while helping Xu Wenzu back up.

Fuck.

I’ve run out of bullshit.

You fill in the blanks for me.

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“The Old Marchioness protected me!

“She protected me!

“The Old Marchioness knew I had come.

“She also knew why I came.

“That is why she protected me first, then arranged for me to leave.

“That is why she gave you those three words!”

Hearing this, Zheng Fan immediately revealed a solemn expression.

“The Old Marchioness truly sees through all stratagems.”

“Exactly.”

Xu Wenzu sat back down at the table.

Then suddenly lowered his voice and asked, “Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“Now that you have returned, did the Marquis’s residence give you any instructions to pass along?”

That line really did sound exactly like:

*Did the old base send down any new directives?*

Zheng Fan shook his head.

“Your Excellency.

“It is not that this subordinate distrusts you.

“But... but...”

“But what?”

“But the Princess has already assigned this subordinate a new mission.”

“A new mission?”

“Yes.

“The Princess ordered this subordinate to go south.

“If nothing unexpected happens, the transfer order from the Ministry of War should arrive within the next few days.

“In addition, through other channels, the Princess has also prepared a force and military equipment for this subordinate all unrelated to the Zhenbei Army and ordered me to take them south.”

At this moment, Zheng Fan genuinely felt like he was exploiting the opportunity to launder as much black money as possible.

“The south?

“Is this... the Princess making preparations for what comes later?”

“This subordinate does not know.

“This subordinate said I wanted to remain beside the Princess.

“But the Princess refused.

“She said soldiers of the Li Clan know only one thing:

Military orders are as immovable as mountains!”

“Sigh.

“Then it seems she truly is making arrangements.”

Xu Wenzu shook his head emotionally.

Then continued, “Lieutenant Commander Zheng, rest assured.

“When the time comes for you to take office in the south, this official will provide every possible convenience.

“After all, fertile water should not flow into outsiders’ fields.”

“This subordinate thanks Your Excellency for your great kindness!”

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“Ordinarily, this official should not have come so abruptly to your residence in person.

“But this official truly could not remain seated any longer.

“Look.

“This is the Edict of Self-Reproach His Majesty issued yesterday...”

As Xu Wenzu spoke, he reached into his robes and took out a sheet of paper.

Naturally, this was not the original imperial document.

It was a copied version.

Zheng Fan accepted the edict and read it through.

The beginning followed the standard ceremonial format: how difficult it had been for The Great Yan Dynasty to establish the state, followed by another round of praise for the achievements of the previous emperors.

The middle described how, after ascending the throne, the current Emperor had worked tirelessly, governed diligently, and endured countless hardships.

And at the end it said that the petty villains of the north had grown increasingly unrestrained.

Increasingly lawless.

They had already become a grave threat to the State of Yan.

This was the Emperor’s failure.

It was because he had not governed well enough that such malignant creatures had been allowed to arise within the state!

According to the official interpretation, the “petty villains of the north” naturally referred to the barbarian tribes.

But the barbarians had already been beaten by Yan until even their mothers could barely recognize them.

How could they possibly still count as some grave internal threat?

Anyone with eyes could understand with one glance: the “petty villains of the north” referred to the residence of the Marquis of Zhenbei!

Holding the sheet of paper, Zheng Fan drew a deep breath.

Then said with agitation, “This isn’t an Edict of Self-Reproach at all.

“This is clearly a—”

“Declaration of war!”

“Declaration of war!”

Xu Wenzu and Zheng Fan shouted the words at the same time.

The imperial court.

His Majesty.

The Emperor of Yan was going to move against the residence of the Marquis of Zhenbei!

“That is why this official said the Princess sending Lieutenant Commander Zheng south is probably intended to preserve some surviving spark for the Li Clan.

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“When you go south this time, you must be exceedingly careful.

“In the future...”

At this point, Xu Wenzu clenched his teeth.

Then continued, “The Marquis’s residence cannot lose!”

“I’m not going south!

“This Emperor of Yan has gone too far!!!”

Zheng Fan abruptly stood.

He tore the copied “Edict of Self-Reproach” to pieces and threw them onto the floor.

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng!

“You mustn’t!

“You mustn’t!”

Xu Wenzu hurriedly rose.

He placed both hands on Zheng Fan’s shoulders.

Snot.

Tears.

Grease...

Zheng Fan breathed deeply.

Again.

Again.

Do not get angry.

Do not get angry.

Do not get angry!

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“This is the Princess’s arrangement for the future.

“You absolutely must not disappoint her expectations.”

“The Princess...

The Old Marchioness...”

Zheng Fan dropped to his knees.

His knees slammed heavily against the floor tiles.

Tears spun inside his eyes.

Fuck.

My knees hurt!

“Lieutenant Commander Zheng.

“This official knows how difficult this is for you.

“This official knows!”

...

On the roof of the hall, Siniang and Liang Cheng sat together on the tiles.

Liang Cheng asked curiously, “Who did Master learn his acting from?”

Siniang chuckled.

“From you old actors, of course.”

“What did we do?”

“You lot spend every day licking him against your own consciences.

“Is he not allowed to learn some acting skills from you?”

“And you?”

Siniang rolled her eyes at Liang Cheng.

She spread out one soft hand and examined it beneath the afternoon sunlight.

Then said, “Impudent.”

“What?”

“You should address me as Madam.”

“Heh.

“Then wouldn’t the Demon Child have to call you—”

“Shut up!”

(End of Chapter)