Chapter 182: The Emperor of Qian

When two states exchanged envoys, to put it plainly, it was not all that different from two gangs squaring off.

No matter what happened you could not lose momentum.

Especially now, while the Yan army held the advantage, there was every reason to be as arrogant as possible.

The more overbearing you acted, the more wary the other side became.

More importantly, on a mission like this, if you let yourself be suppressed, then once word spread, what should have been a glorious achievement sitting right in front of you could instantly turn into the crime of humiliating the state.

The Yan were far too proud.

There was no chance they would tolerate one of their own envoys swallowing humiliation abroad and then dressing it up with some grand phrase about preserving the larger situation.

Still there had to be a limit.

If Zheng Fan acted too arrogantly, he might genuinely never leave this city alive.

How far he could push things that balance remained his responsibility.

The utterly shameless, street-thug attitude Zheng Fan displayed genuinely left the surrounding Qian people somewhat at a loss.

Envoys had traveled between the two states frequently enough in the past.

But an envoy this hard-headed one who practically competed in ruthlessness like some hooligan in a street brawl was a first.

"YAN DOG!"

The young general genuinely raised his saber and tried to rush forward.

Fortunately, people on both sides grabbed him.

"Don't stop me!

"Don't stop me!

"I'm cutting this Yan dog's head off!"

At this point, Shao Wenjie could no longer remain silent.

Otherwise, the face being lost here would not belong to Yan but to Qian.

Although, considering enemy troops were already outside the capital, Shao Wenjie himself was not entirely sure how much face Qian still had left.

"General Zu!

"His Majesty has summoned the Yan envoy.

"Withdraw at once!"

General Zu?

Zheng Fan remembered that Zu Dongcheng was still tied up somewhere in his army.

And now another man surnamed Zu had appeared.

Were they from the same family?

At that moment, the Blind Man's voice sounded directly inside Zheng Fan's mind.

"Master, barring an accident, this man should indeed be from the southeastern Zu Clan.

"The Zu Clan's legitimate eldest son, Zu Dongcheng, is currently being held in our army.

"Zu Zhuming's second son, however, was sent to Upper Capital many years ago to serve as a Lieutenant Commander in the Imperial Guards.

"It was somewhat similar to sending a hostage.

"His agitation now is probably because he believes his elder brother has already died at our hands."

The Blind Man had not wasted all those days studying dossiers and chatting with captured Qian officials.

At moments like this, he functioned practically like an encyclopedia saving Zheng Fan from entering the city completely blind.

Once he understood the situation, Zheng Fan immediately called out, "This must be Young General Zu?"

"Yan dog!

"Yan dog!"

Zu Dongling continued struggling while cursing.

"Young General Zu, I believe there may be some misunderstanding between us.

"Your elder brother and I hit it off immediately.

"We have already sworn brotherhood as brothers of different surnames.

"Strictly speaking—that means I should count as your elder brother too."

Zu Dongling froze.

So did many of the people around them.

Shao Wenjie's heart sank.

He hurriedly shouted, "General Zu!

"Withdraw!"

"My elder brother isn't dead?

"He's still alive?"

Zu Dongling shouted excitedly.

Shao Wenjie became even more anxious.

How could such a thing be asked here in front of so many people?

Zheng Fan nodded.

"Naturally, your elder brother is unharmed.

"Moreover, our Marquis greatly admires your brother's talents.

"These past few days, the Marquis has often exchanged ideas with him regarding methods of training troops.

"Our Marquis even said the Zu Clan's methods of troop training are unmatched in this age.

"Truly worthy of being the southeastern pillar of the state!"

By now, even someone as slow as Zu Dongling realized something felt wrong.

Zheng Fan did not care.

These insinuations cost nothing.

He could pour them out by the vat.

"SILVER-ARMORED GUARD, HEAR MY COMMAND!

"His Majesty has decreed that the Yan envoy is to be escorted for audience!

"Anyone who dares obstruct the way—

"KILL WITHOUT MERCY!"

The Silver-Armored Guards immediately drew their sabers and pointed them at the people around them.

Shao Wenjie finally exhaled.

He narrowed his eyes at Zheng Fan and sighed inwardly.

This Yan envoy did not possess even the slightest appearance of a proper envoy.

Yet when it came to doing an envoy's actual work he was unexpectedly flexible.

Zu Dongling no longer dared obstruct them.

Zheng Fan boarded a carriage.

With the Silver-Armored Guard clearing the way, they headed directly toward the imperial palace.

Zheng Fan lifted the curtain over the carriage window only to discover wooden boards behind it.

It resembled one of those cheap hotels from later times with no actual window, yet with a fake window frame installed just so the room would not feel quite so suffocating.

Presumably they did not want Zheng Fan seeing the true condition of Upper Capital right now.

But hiding things like this only made the concealment more obvious.

If everyone inside Upper Capital were united in purpose soldiers and commoners alike determined to resist the foreign enemy why would they need to hide anything?

Zheng Fan leaned farther back inside the carriage and found a more comfortable position.

Then he asked the Blind Man, who sat beside him, "How is it?"

The Blind Man, Bei, answered calmly, "Everyone is panicking."

Zheng Fan nodded.

Exactly as expected.

When the carriage reached the palace gates, no one ordered them out for inspection.

Instead the carriage turned directly inside and continued onward.

Roughly half an hour later the carriage stopped.

Shao Wenjie lifted the curtain.

"Yan envoy.

"Please disembark."

Zheng Fan stepped out.

But before the Blind Man and A'Ming could follow, the carriage began moving again.

"Yan envoy, your attendants will be taken elsewhere for tea and refreshments while they wait."

Zheng Fan nodded without changing expression.

Inside, however, he immediately began feeling somewhat nervous.

It was exactly like staying up all night making cheat sheets before an exam only to discover outside the examination hall that you had forgotten to bring them.

Still he was already here.

Fear served no purpose now.

Nor would it accomplish anything.

This should be the rear half of the imperial palace.

Generally speaking, the front half of a palace was where official business took place.

The rear half was where the Emperor and his consorts actually lived.

The imperial palace of Qian was extraordinarily luxurious.

Even judged through modern eyes it remained breathtaking.

The wealth of the State of Qian truly was no empty reputation.

They walked farther forward.

As they approached a courtyard, Shao Wenjie made a gesture of invitation.

A young eunuch appeared ahead.

The two exchanged responsibility.

The young eunuch raised a lantern and motioned for Zheng Fan to follow him.

They were not going to meet the gathered civil and military officials?

In Zheng Fan's original imagination, he had expected to stand inside the imperial court before the officials of Qian.

Perhaps there would even be some grand verbal battle against an entire hall of opponents.

Apparently that part had been skipped.

He followed the young eunuch for another stretch.

At an arched gateway, the eunuch stopped.

He bowed slightly and retreated several steps.

Zheng Fan nodded.

Then walked straight inside.

The moment he entered he saw a female Lieutenant Commander wearing silver armor standing before him.

"Yan envoy.

"Forgive the offense."

Zheng Fan did not resist.

He spread both arms.

The feeling was not very different from airport security in his previous life.

And since the person searching him was a female Silver-Armored Guard fine.

He had no objections.

Her hands were soft too.

Zheng Fan carried no weapons.

The only thing that might cause trouble was the Demon Child hidden beneath his clothes.

But the Demon Child was extremely cunning.

When the female Silver-Armored Guard searched the upper half of Zheng Fan's body the Demon Child slid downward.

When she searched below it circled behind him and quietly moved upward again.

From beginning to end, there was no sound.

Not even the slightest aura leaked out.

This was presumably one of the Demon Child's unique abilities.

After all, it was fundamentally a spirit body and remained sealed within itself.

Detecting it was already extremely difficult.

Unless this Silver-Armored Guard possessed abilities similar to the Blind Man or perhaps the sort of psychic magician said to exist in the distant West there was very little chance of discovery.

Once the inspection ended, the female Silver-Armored Guard withdrew.

Zheng Fan continued onward.

After passing through a covered corridor, he arrived before a warm chamber.

Even standing outside he could already feel waves of heat rolling toward him.

It was like entering a sauna.

Zheng Fan glanced left.

Then right.

No one appeared to guide him.

So he simply pushed the door open himself.

There were no visible charcoal braziers inside.

Yet the room was unquestionably warm.

Expensive carpets covered the floor.

Every furnishing was not only exquisite but arranged in a way that felt extraordinarily comfortable.

Perhaps because Zheng Fan had been an artist in his previous life, he was highly sensitive to visual composition and design.

One glance told him that this arrangement had been created by a master.

It reflected the owner's taste.

"Hurry inside and close the door.

"Don't let the cold wind in."

A man's voice came from deeper within.

Lazy.

Relaxed.

At this location within the imperial palace only one person could possibly speak in that tone.

Zheng Fan exhaled.

He stepped inside.

Closed the door behind him.

Then followed the voice around a screen.

Splash...

The sound of moving water came from behind.

Then, a middle-aged man emerged wearing a Daoist robe.

His hair was still wet.

"This foreign envoy, Zheng Fan, pays respects to His Majesty, the Emperor of Qian!"

Zheng Fan did not kneel.

He merely cupped his hands and bowed.

The Qian Emperor looked to be in his forties.

Perhaps a few years younger than the Yan Emperor.

But in terms of personal care he clearly put far more effort into maintaining himself.

"Rise.

"There is food and drink here.

"If you're hungry or thirsty, help yourself."

After saying that the Qian Emperor personally walked toward an incense burner.

He selected a piece of sandalwood.

Lit it.

Then gently fanned the smoke toward himself with one hand.

He inhaled.

A satisfied expression appeared across his face.

Zheng Fan did not stand on ceremony either.

He walked over to the table.

A great deal of food had been placed there.

Most of it consisted of cold dishes and pastries.

Many of those pastries were varieties Zheng Fan had never seen before.

He selected several and put them directly into his mouth.

Tch.

They genuinely tasted excellent.

Not inferior to pastries from his previous world.

Then, Zheng Fan poured himself a cup of wine.

The wine was red.

Probably grape wine.

Inside a container beside it there were actually preserved pieces of ice.

The chilled wine went down.

His entire body immediately relaxed.

Zheng Fan simply stood there fully concentrating on eating.

A bite of this.

Two bites of that.

Tch tch.

A country bumpkin entering the city.

He was not afraid of being laughed at.

Once the food entered his stomach, he at least gained something real.

How much was face worth?

Besides only Zheng Fan and the Qian Emperor were inside the room.

There was no need to worry about news of his greedy eating habits spreading outside.

"Are the Yan armies short of food?

"Look at how hungry you are.

"No, that can't be right.

"You've fought all the way south.

"You should have captured quite a bit of stored grain.

"Your army shouldn't lack provisions."

The Qian Emperor reclined sideways on a couch.

He rolled a string of bodhi beads between his fingers while asking.

Zheng Fan swallowed the food in his mouth.

"The army does not lack grain.

"But Your Majesty should understand that military food is already good if it merely fills the belly.

"It cannot possibly compare with the refinement here."

"Looks like you're someone who enjoys eating."

"A man lives only one life.

"There are two finest pleasures.

"One is good food.

"The other is beautiful women."

"Somewhat narrow.

"But I suppose it captures one part of humanity.

"Still, there are many things in this world even better than fine food and beautiful women."

"But only people like Your Majesty possess the leisure to pursue those things."

Zheng Fan grabbed a handful of green kernels that looked like raisins but tasted nothing like raisins.

Then he walked over.

Without asking permission, he sat directly on the carpet before the Qian Emperor.

The Emperor's Daoist robe was basically there for appearance.

He had not fastened it.

Large patches of pale flesh remained exposed.

Truthfully having another man sit in front of you while exposing so much flesh felt rather strange.

"Aiya.

"Tell me.

"What exactly does a man seek throughout his life?"

Zheng Fan silently kept eating.

"Why aren't you speaking?" the Qian Emperor asked.

"Most people in this world can only worry about what they'll eat tomorrow.

"They don't have the luxury of thinking that far."

"Oh.

"I understand.

"You think I'm deliberately discussing meaningless things with you?"

Zheng Fan nodded.

The Qian Emperor's appearance was far too relaxed.

And being this relaxed at a moment like this felt almost deliberately relaxed.

Besides—

Zheng Fan had come here specifically to anger the Qian sovereign and officials.

Since he had not been given the chance to meet the officials he could only begin by trying to anger the Emperor.

Though he still had to make sure he did not push the man far enough to order his head cut off.

"I'm like this every day.

"I didn't arrange any of it especially for you."

"Your Majesty certainly knows how to enjoy life."

"What about Ji Runhao?

"He surely cannot live as freely as I do?"

"Diligent.

"Conscientious.

"Hardworking."

Zheng Fan sighed.

He swept his gaze around the room.

Then said, "Your Majesty.

"This really is how an Emperor ought to live."

"Have you ever wanted to live like this?"

Zheng Fan shook his head.

"Truly never wanted it?"

"Truly never."

"Why?"

"Because there aren't many days left."

"Hahahahahaha!"

The Qian Emperor burst into laughter.

His laughter echoed throughout the chamber.

He laughed so hard that tears nearly appeared.

Zheng Fan stood.

Walked over to the food again.

Took another plate of pastries.

Returned.

Sat down.

And continued eating.

"Why don't you ask why I laughed earlier?"

"Your Majesty laughed to conceal your momentary loss of composure.

"If this foreign envoy asks further—wouldn't that simply expose Your Majesty's embarrassment?"

"Interesting.

"Interesting.

"You Yan envoy truly are rather interesting.

"Countless foreign envoys visit Upper Capital every year.

"I've met many of them.

"But you're the first one this amusing."

"Truthfully, this foreign envoy did not intend to come either.

"But there was no helping it.

"Who could have expected the fighting to carry us all the way to Upper Capital this quickly?

"There wasn't enough time to summon a proper envoy from Yan's capital.

"So they could only force this rough soldier to do something beyond his station and come greet Your Majesty."

"Then this truly is fate."

"Indeed.

"Fate."

"Your surname is Zheng?"

"Yes."

"What office do you hold in Yan?"

"Garrison Commander of Green Willow Fortress, Yinlang Commandery."

"Tch.

"I've heard of you.

"Weren't you the little fellow who attacked Mianzhou City last time?

"And that line about 'Zheng Fan was here'—you wrote that too?"

"Your Majesty has seen through this foreign envoy's embarrassment.

"Back then, I merely wanted to come over for a look.

"Who knew the Qian people would be so hospitable?

"It would have been rude to refuse such enthusiasm.

"So I went inside and sat for a while."

"And Prince Fu's head—you cut that off too?"

"Yes."

"I'm curious.

"One Prince Fu's head still wasn't enough to earn you a promotion?

"Why are you still only a Garrison Commander?"

"Prince Fu's head was not especially valuable."

As he spoke—

Zheng Fan's gaze settled on the Qian Emperor's head.

Perhaps because he had only just emerged from the bath steam still rose faintly from it.

The Qian Emperor noticed.

He pointed toward his own head.

"Want it?"

Zheng Fan swallowed.

Then nodded very honestly.

"I'm curious too.

"If you took this head of mine back to Yan—what military merit could you exchange it for?"

Without hesitation, Zheng Fan answered, "A Marquisate."

"Ho!

"Then this really is valuable.

"I know that in Yan, Marquis is the highest noble rank granted outside the imperial clan, correct?"

"Correct, Your Majesty."

"I'm sitting right here.

"Why don't you come take it?"

Zheng Fan shook his head.

"Because this foreign envoy does not know whether Your Majesty practices martial arts."

"I do not."

"Qian is famous for Qi Refiners."

"I don't believe much in those empty stories about astrology and geomancy either."

"Then..."

"Stop hesitating.

"I'll tell you plainly.

"I'm useless."

Zheng Fan looked around the room.

"Stop looking.

"Other than that woman you saw when you first entered, no one else is hidden nearby.

"I deliberately sent the Chancellors away.

"I specifically chose to meet you alone.

"That woman is merely a Ninth Grade Martial Artist.

"The only reason she remains beside me—is that I think she's rather attractive."

"This..."

"What?

"Why aren't you attacking?"

"If I kill Your Majesty—

"I won't be able to leave this city."

"Hehehe.

"Hahahahahaha!"

The Qian Emperor laughed again.

He could not stop himself from slapping the armrest of his couch.

"You.

"You're afraid of dying?"

"Of course I'm afraid of dying."

"I thought all you Yan people were fearless.

"Are you even Yan?"

"Probably."

"So you aren't going to kill me?"

"Your Majesty gave this foreign envoy food.

"How could I do something like that?"

You say there are no experts so there are no experts?

You say you're useless so you're useless?

You say that woman outside is merely a Ninth Grade lover so she's merely a Ninth Grade lover?

"Enough.

"Let's discuss serious business."

"Here?"

"Yes.

"Right here."

Zheng Fan reached into his robe and pulled out the document.

The female Silver-Armored Guard had already checked it earlier during the search.

The Qian Emperor accepted the letter.

He did not immediately open it.

Instead he lifted it to his face and lightly sniffed it.

"Couldn't you at least pretend to be proper?

"Never mind that this isn't a formal state letter.

"Never mind that Ji Runhao didn't write it personally.

"But the ink... it hasn't even dried yet."

Zheng Fan's old face reddened.

"Heh."

The Qian Emperor did not open the letter.

He tossed it aside instead.

Then asked, "Minister Zheng.

"What kind of women do you like?"

"Huh?"

"I'm asking you.

"Answer."

"Your Majesty, weren't we going to discuss serious business?"

"To me—this is serious business too."

"Your Majesty.

"This foreign envoy is shy."

"We're both men.

"Talk casually.

"Plump or slender.

"Elegant or clever.

"What kind do you truly prefer?"

"If she's beautiful, I generally don't dislike her."

"Vulgar!"

"Yes.

"This foreign envoy is vulgar."

"Base."

"Yes.

"This foreign envoy is base."

"At least you're honest.

"Truthfully, that is the principle of the matter.

"Human desire has no end.

"Just like Yan."

"Your Majesty, weren't we discussing serious business?"

Weren't we talking about women?

I was still waiting for you to keep talking and then say you'd give me—

"Are affairs of state not serious business?"

"They are."

"Then that's settled.

"Truthfully, if Yan had behaved as before—merely asking for additional benefits—perhaps increasing the annual tribute—

"Great Qian would simply have paid.

"After all, Qian is vast and rich.

"Even taking ten thousand steps backward—if you Yan people had simply come south this time, looted once, plundered once, and gone home—

"I could understand that too.

"Everyone knows Yan is poor.

"These past years, with the so-called Silk Road, your lives have improved somewhat.

"But only somewhat.

"If your poor neighbor comes to your house to ask for some rice and flour to cook a meal, since you're neighbors and still expect to get along afterward—naturally you lend some.

"Wouldn't you agree?

"But this time, the poor neighbor has lost all sense of proportion.

"He actually wants to occupy half the house.

"Tch tch tch..."

Zheng Fan answered, "Because this neighbor is too cowardly."

"............" The Qian Emperor.

"Your Majesty.

"This foreign envoy misspoke and accidentally told the truth."

The Qian Emperor nodded.

"Truth is often the most painful thing.

"Qian truly is riddled with disease.

"Every year, the treasury pays to maintain nearly a million troops who do not even exist.

"That item alone devours an unimaginable amount of wealth squeezed from the people."

If Qian possessed another million Zu Clan soldiers or another million Western Army troops then even if Yan's iron cavalry were unequalled beneath Heaven, how would Yan dare ride south?

"Unfortunately—

"I have no Li Liangting beside me.

"And certainly no Tian Wujing."

"Your Majesty.

"Which came first—the chicken or the egg?"

Only after there was a bold and capable Yan Emperor could men like those two Marquises appear.

And only then would those two Marquises willingly stand beside that Emperor.

"Yes.

"Yes.

"I truly cannot compare with Ji Runhao.

"To be frank—

"Ji Runhao understands how to be an Emperor better than I do.

"Most of the time, I think more about how to enjoy myself.

"For example—that Silver-Armored Guard outside.

"Do you know she has a husband?"

"............" Zheng Fan.

"Tch tch tch."

The Qian Emperor sank into self-satisfaction.

"Your Majesty certainly possesses refined interests."

"The pleasures hidden within cannot be explained to outsiders."

"Yes.

"Yes."

This Qian Emperor seemed somewhat neurotic.

His thoughts leapt about far more violently than an ordinary person's.

He had only just mentioned another man's wife yet immediately pointed toward the document he had tossed aside.

"Do you know why I refuse to read this letter?"

"Your Majesty just said it lacked sincerity."

"Correct.

"It lacks sincerity.

"Because inside it, there is probably nothing more than demands for territory, indemnities, and perhaps sending some imperial prince as hostage.

"Conditions I absolutely cannot accept.

"Correct?"

Zheng Fan froze.

The Qian Emperor smiled.

"Even common merchants doing business in the marketplace understand sincerity.

"You genuinely want to buy.

"I genuinely want to sell.

"Only then is there any reason for negotiations to continue.

"Otherwise—aren't we simply wasting each other's time?"

Zheng Fan frowned slightly.

"Aiya.

"Yan's situation is not good right now.

"The two great clans of Jin are already sharpening their blades.

"I imagine they will soon send troops.

"And the Barbarian Royal Court in the desert—they surely will not let this once-in-a-century opportunity slip away either."

"Your Majesty.

"Great Yan possesses the confidence to deal with them."

"Confidence?

"Yes.

"I know."

The Qian Emperor suddenly sat upright.

He stared directly at Zheng Fan.

Then slowly said, "Do you know how I reacted when I first learned that more than two hundred thousand Yan cavalry had ridden south?"

Zheng Fan shook his head.

"This foreign envoy does not know."

"I was frightened.

"Truly frightened.

"And then—

"I immediately issued two imperial decrees.

"The first ordered the armies beneath Heaven to enter the capital and rescue their sovereign.

"The second—do you know what it was?"

Zheng Fan drew in a deep breath.

The Qian Emperor smiled faintly.

Then continued, "The second decree was this—

"Strictly order the armies of the Three Frontiers... not to send a single soldier south as reinforcement!"

(End of Chapter)