Chapter 216: What a Coincidence

Zheng Fan reached out and picked the thing up, examining it carefully.

He had to admit once anything was crafted to an extreme degree of refinement, it could genuinely take on the feeling of a work of art.

“Ah~”

The Empress Dowager of Jin beside him let out a startled cry.

She nearly fainted from embarrassment.

This time Zheng Fan did not even need to hold her down.

She buried her face in the bedding herself and refused to lift her head.

“Heh.”

Zheng Fan chuckled.

He knew what this thing was.

Do not assume only modern people in later generations knew how to play with such objects.

Ancient people had discovered them long ago.

After all, what changed with the development of society were merely external conditions.

Human beings themselves and their instinctive needs had always existed.

This object was called Mr. Jiao.

It was also called Mr. Guo.

Different periods gave it other names as well, such as the “Jingdong Personage” and “Guangdong Personage.”

Much like Jinhua ham or Gaoyou preserved eggs in later generations the thing had developed its own recognizable “brand.”

Quite a few of these objects had been uncovered in archaeological excavations.

Many were found inside eunuchs’ tombs.

Ordinary people generally felt too embarrassed to bury something like this among their grave goods.

Eunuchs, however because they lacked that particular piece of anatomy often developed a peculiar mixture of “worship” and “yearning” toward such objects.

Generally speaking, these things were most often made from ceramic.

Wood, after all, rotted easily after long use.

Those with better means could choose bronze, silver, or jade.

But the Empress Dowager of Jin possessed something even more extravagant.

Ivory!

“Your Majesty, matters between men and women are only natural.

“There is nothing especially shameful about it.

“Please do not be embarrassed.

“Although I behaved rather disrespectfully earlier, I am not so low as to spread this matter outside.

“Your Majesty may rest assured.”

For some reason, that promise actually calmed the Empress Dowager.

Perhaps because Zheng Fan had been so openly shameless earlier she found herself believing this particular assurance.

After laughing for a while, Zheng Fan placed the object back inside its box, returned it to the hidden compartment, then covered everything carefully with the soft bedding.

Afterward, he walked to the table, picked up the teapot, and began pouring water.

To wash his hands.

The Empress Dowager heard the water.

She lifted her head and looked over.

Seeing Zheng Fan washing his hands, her face was already too red to tell whether it became any redder.

But a flash of anger crossed her eyes.

This crude barbarian actually disliked touching her...

After washing his hands, Zheng Fan turned around.

The Empress Dowager’s cheeks were still bright red.

Truthfully she looked rather beautiful that way.

Perhaps because of the incident with Mr. Jiao, the previous stiffness between them had strangely disappeared.

Zheng Fan said, “I’ll speak frankly with Your Majesty.

“The ancestral temple and the national treasury—

“I am definitely taking both.

“That is the entire reason I came here.

“To seek wealth.

“So long as Your Majesty behaves and does not create trouble, you can go to Yanjing with your son and live comfortably there.

“Mm.

“You may bring your ivory with you too.”

The Empress Dowager drew in a deep breath.

She seemed to discard all restraint now as well.

“The ancestral temple cannot be touched!”

“Does Jin possess any wealth left besides its sacrificial halls?”

“No matter what—the ancestral temple cannot be touched!”

“Your Majesty’s words no longer carry much weight.

“Be good.

“Do not act from emotion.”

“This Dowager...

“This Dowager still has several private treasuries.”

“Keep that little private fortune of yours.

“I can make the decision and allow you to bring it to Yanjing.”

“Then should this Dowager thank you?

“General Zheng?”

“Do as you please.”

Although this Empress Dowager of Jin was nowhere near as sensible as Prince Fu’s consort men possessed a certain worthless streak.

When a woman offered herself willingly a man often failed to cherish it.

Sometimes he even became restrained and pretended to be “upright.”

But someone like the Empress Dowager who resisted him actually gave Governor Zheng some interest in teasing her.

Of course, Siniang kept talking about arranging an imperial harem for him filled with Princesses and Empress Dowagers.

But could a woman’s words really be trusted?

Zheng Fan still remembered how, when he had been writing later story arcs for his comic *Feng Siniang*, he sat alone inside his studio designing scene after scene where Siniang tortured faithless men through every inhuman method imaginable.

He vaguely remembered being extremely excited at the time.

Thinking back now he had been a complete fucking idiot.

“Let us stop there.

“Still, I cannot leave for the moment.

“Do you have anything to eat here?” Zheng Fan asked.

“You are not afraid this Dowager will poison you?”

“You do not want to die.”

Zheng Fan answered with complete ease.

“This Dowager...

“This Dowager...

“This Dowager is Empress Dowager of an entire state.

“This Dowager...”

“Enough.

“You are not even that old.

“Stop constantly pretending to be some ancient matriarch.

“Go.

“Find me something to eat.”

The Empress Dowager hesitated.

Then she went to one side and brought over a fruit tray containing several pastries and dried fruits.

After setting it in front of Zheng Fan he merely picked up one pastry and turned it around in his hand.

“Why are you not eating?” the Empress Dowager asked.

“I got scared.”

“............” The Empress Dowager.

“By the way—how many years has the late Emperor been dead?”

“More than ten years.”

“Oh.

“Then you truly did not have it easy.

“A widow raising a child alone.”

The Empress Dowager silently picked up a pastry.

She took a bite.

Chewed.

Swallowed.

Zheng Fan still did not eat the one in his hand.

He merely continued playing with it as though it were a toy.

“General Zheng.

“This Dowager finds you a rather interesting man.”

“Mm.

“So Your Majesty is interested in me?”

“You...”

“Do not get nervous.

“And do not get angry.

“A great many changes truly happened today.

“For now, relax.

“After all—there will be plenty more changes like this in the future.

“You will need to get used to them.”

“............” The Empress Dowager.

“Truthfully, your State of Jin could originally have survived much longer.”

The Situ Clan was preparing to fight the wild men in the Heavenbreak Mountain Range.

At such a time, Yan would not have attacked the Situ Clan.

Both sides would have quietly divided what remained of Jin between them.

Everyone satisfied.

Everyone comfortable.

But the Jin Emperor had insisted on creating this entire mess and triggered a chain reaction.

In Zheng Fan’s view, the Marquis of Jingnan’s reason for coming here this time was probably nothing more complicated than sweeping away the now-useless Capital Region while he was here.

The Jin Emperor, the Empress Dowager, and their close imperial relatives would all be moved to Yanjing.

After that Jin would become clean and simple.

Only Yan and the Situ Clan would remain.

The Marquis of Jingnan clearly had no intention of attacking the Situ Clan right now.

Otherwise he would certainly have brought the Jingnan Army’s main force from Litian City.

“This Dowager approved of my son’s plan,” the Empress Dowager said.

“What use was your approval?

“You are a woman who spent most of her life inside the palace.

“You might know how to play games inside the inner palace, but matters of armies and states are not something you should fool around with.

“Truthfully—if your son had not created this entire mess—

“I might have come here every New Year and festival carrying gifts to pay my respects to Your Majesty.

“I am Governor of Shengle City.

“Shengle City.

“You know the place?”

The Empress Dowager nodded.

“The poorest and most barren place in Jin.”

“............” Zheng Fan.

After calming himself—

Zheng Fan continued, “When your son was returning from Yanjing, we traveled along the same road for many days.

“I thought I might flatter him a little, make myself familiar to him, and make future cooperation easier.

“Who could have imagined—your son refused even to acknowledge me.

“I pressed my warm face against his cold ass.”

Smack!

A crisp slap rang out.

The Empress Dowager’s face, which had only just calmed down, instantly flushed red again.

She stared at Zheng Fan in disbelief.

Zheng Fan held his palm before himself.

His fingertips rubbed together lightly.

Then he said, “Now we are even.”

At that moment, noise came from outside.

Another cavalry force had entered the palace.

“Fine.

“I need to go work.

“Many thanks for Your Majesty’s hospitality.

“If fate allows—perhaps we shall meet again.”

Zheng Fan rose in complete satisfaction and walked toward the bedchamber door.

There he saw Ren Juan, Commander-in-Chief of Xinsu City.

Ren Juan remained on horseback.

Behind him followed a group of riders covered in blood.

“This subordinate, Zheng Fan, Governor of Shengle City, pays respects to Commander-in-Chief Ren!”

Since Zheng Fan wore armor there was no need to kneel.

“Yu Huacheng is dead.”

Ren Juan’s expression was rather unpleasant.

Zheng Fan froze.

Then immediately understood.

Looks like Liang Cheng and the others had inherited his own absurd luck when it came to stealing kills.

“Governor Zheng truly knows how to command your subordinates.

“This general admires you.”

“My lord speaks too seriously.

“We are all brothers serving under the Jingnan Army banner.”

In front of Li Fusheng they were all men of Beifeng Commandery.

They were their own people.

Very much their own people.

In front of Ren Juan they were all men following the Marquis of Jingnan.

Again their own people.

Very much their own people.

“Do you think this general would envy your military merit?

“The Marquis is not here right now.

“I specifically came to inspect the palace.

“Is the Empress Dowager of Jin inside?”

“Reporting to my lord.

“She is inside.

“Alive and completely intact.”

“Good.

“Then this general orders you to keep watch over the Empress Dowager and maintain stability inside the imperial palace.

“There must not be the slightest mishap.”

“This subordinate receives the order.”

“Good.

“This general still needs to lead men outside the city to support the Marquis.”

“My lord may go.

“I will handle things here.”

“Mm.”

Perhaps because Ren Juan wanted to express some friendliness he forced out a faint smile.

The smile looked extremely stiff and awkward.

Only then did Zheng Fan realize that Ren Juan’s sour face earlier had not been caused by jealousy over Liang Cheng killing Yu Huacheng and stealing his merit.

The man simply naturally possessed a face that looked as though he had just seen his mortal enemy.

Ren Juan led his troops away.

Before leaving, he deliberately assigned another two hundred soldiers to Zheng Fan.

Which meant Zheng Fan now possessed five hundred cavalry guarding this residence or rather the entire Jin imperial palace.

In earlier times, that would have sounded like a joke.

But now?

With five hundred Jingnan Army riders in hand—

Zheng Fan would dare charge head-on against one thousand regular Jin cavalry.

At present, across the Capital Region forget one thousand regular cavalry.

Could anyone even scrape together one thousand organized troops?

Could they gather even one thousand rabble?

Zheng Fan stretched lazily.

Then, he walked back into the bedchamber.

Inside the Empress Dowager remained seated in her chair.

She appeared lost in thought.

When she saw Zheng Fan return her entire body trembled.

“Oh.

“If it isn’t Your Majesty the Empress Dowager.

“What a coincidence.

“Who would have thought we’d meet again so soon?”

“............” The Empress Dowager.

(End of Chapter)