Chapter 300: Yan Little Sixth

Inside a teahouse in the western part of Nan’an County seat, a storyteller was in the middle of recounting the First Prince’s expedition into the State of Dacheng.

The storyteller was already past fifty. His hair had long since fallen out, he was short, and his head looked like a wagon wheel with a close-shaven scalp.

Beside him stood a plump apprentice a full head taller.

The storyteller’s surname was Guo, and he went by the single name Dao.

That was not his real name.

People who made their living wandering the jianghu rarely used their true names in public.

Mr. Guo had originally specialized in sordid stories about wealthy households and great families which family’s young miss had secretly taken up with which poor scholar, which married woman was meeting Carpenter Wang from next door in the middle of the night, and so on.

Then one night, someone ambushed him with a club.

His head was split open, and he nearly lost his life.

After that, he no longer dared tell those stories.

And as the State of Yan launched war after war beyond its borders, Mr. Guo began telling the grand military tales Yan people loved most.

His career entered a second spring.

Several teahouses had even offered good money to poach him.

His price had risen considerably.

What he was telling today was the story of the First Prince leading the great army into Dacheng.

The subject was extremely current, so it drew a large crowd.

As for how much of the story was real and how much was water mixed in for flavor nobody knew.

All anyone knew was that even the great officials of the imperial court had to wait quite some time for eight-hundred-li urgent dispatches before they could read actual military reports from the front.

Over there, the First Prince had only just entered Dacheng.

Over here, in Mr. Guo’s version of events, the First Prince had already personally led the charge and cut down several savage Ten-Thousand Household Commanders.

The apprentice beside him looked honest and simple.

He had only recently been brought onto the stage.

His job was merely to play the straight man.

He never said anything unnecessary.

But every time he opened his mouth, it sounded exactly like he was asking the question on behalf of everyone listening below.

One asked.

The other answered.

And the story became wonderfully vivid.

The listeners did not bother arguing over whether it was true or false.

Nor did they seriously consider how this storyteller could possibly know the battlefield situation faster than the actual military dispatches.

They were Yan people.

Over the past two years, victory after victory had practically intoxicated them.

As long as their own side was winning, however you bragged about it, everyone felt good.

At that moment, Yan Little Sixth—the Chief Constable who had taken office at the county yamen less than two months earlier—was leaning against the teahouse doorway, smiling as he listened to Mr. Guo’s story.

When this Chief Constable Yan had first arrived, quite a few people in the yamen had thought him too young.

Privately, they spread rumors that he was probably some brother-in-law from one of the county magistrate’s concubine branches.

Most likely just another useless good-for-nothing who had climbed up through connections.

The waters inside a yamen ran deep.

Sometimes even the county magistrate himself could be hollowed out and reduced to a figurehead if the people below wished it.

So at first, nobody took Yan Little Sixth very seriously.

Yet within only seven days of taking office, he had already beaten the constables beneath him into complete obedience and established himself unmistakably as their boss.

Above him—from the County Magistrate, County Deputy, and Registrar and below him—from the yamen runners to the clerks and functionaries of every section he had opened up relations with all of them.

He was not arrogant.

He understood propriety.

He knew when to advance and when to retreat.

Yet somehow, nobody dared look down on him.

Inside a yamen, if everyone from top to bottom treated you politely, it was difficult not to live comfortably.

Nan’an County lay within Tiancheng Commandery.

It was not exactly close to the capital, but one certainly could not call it far away either.

It did not quite count as being beneath the Son of Heaven’s feet, but if one sniffed carefully enough, one could faintly catch the smell of His Majesty’s socks.

On top of that, His Majesty had repeatedly launched major wars over the past two years.

That made prisoners extremely valuable.

Anyone who committed a crime from notorious bandits and great thieves all the way down to someone who stole a single egg from a neighbor was sent to the front.

Was that a heavy punishment?

It was difficult for anyone to say no.

After all, no matter what internal contradiction existed, as long as the state kept winning wars outside, it did not really count as a contradiction.

Public security, at least, had genuinely begun to feel like a refreshing spring breeze.

So Chief Constable Yan usually had very little to do.

According to established practice, he collected the customary “filial gifts” from the shops along the streets, then led a group of brothers around on patrol.

His days were rather leisurely.

When the teahouse proprietor saw Chief Constable Yan arrive, he immediately came over personally and invited him upstairs to the best seat.

Chief Constable Yan refused.

He said he was on official duty and it would be inconvenient to go inside.

But he did not stand on ceremony.

He reached into the waiter’s pocket, grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds, and began cracking them open while listening.

The proprietor then brought over a little stool with a cup of tea placed on top.

Bending at the waist, he said, “For you, sir.”

“Heh-heh.”

Chief Constable Yan was not stingy.

He took two pieces of broken silver from his pocket.

One was payment for the tea.

The other was a tip for Mr. Guo.

He had just collected protection money from the rouge shop up the street.

The silver still carried the faint scent of face powder.

“How generous, sir.”

The proprietor did not refuse.

Drinking tea in a teahouse and rewarding a performer were acts of face and status.

If you stubbornly refused the money, you were not being polite.

You were refusing to give the gentleman face.

Mr. Guo received the tip and immediately led his apprentice in bowing toward the doorway where Chief Constable Yan stood.

Master and disciple called out together, “Many thanks for your reward, sir!”

After thanking him, Mr. Guo turned toward his apprentice.

“Where were we?”

“We were at the part where the Emperor of Dacheng, on his deathbed, entrusted his orphaned heir to the First Prince.”

“Exactly!

“Emperor Situ Lei of Dacheng knew his days were numbered, so he ordered his chief minister, Sun Youdao, to go into the army and invite our First Prince into the palace.

“The First Prince entered the Dacheng imperial palace wearing golden armor and a red cloak, with Chief Commanders Li Bao and Li Fusheng behind him and more than a thousand armored soldiers at his back!

“Good heavens!

“When had the Situ Clan ever seen such mighty troops?

“When had they ever seen such a magnificent imperial prince?

“Those princesses and imperial consorts stared at our First Prince until the drool came pouring from their mouths!”

Well.

Mr. Guo had just received a generous reward.

His spirits had floated a little too high.

He had started with iron cavalry and clashing weapons, yet somehow managed to drift right back toward the same romantic filth he used to tell in the old days.

“True or false?”

“Yeah! Is that really true?”

The audience immediately objected.

What, was Mr. Guo some kind of chamber pot sitting right there beneath their mouths to catch the drool?

Was that why he had been on the scene and seen it personally?

Mr. Guo immediately adopted a solemn expression.

“Let this old man explain it properly to you gentlemen.

“That Emperor of the Situ Clan was already in poor health.

“He returned from Snow Sea Pass carrying injuries.

“So those imperial consorts in the harem had been lonely and starving for a very long time already!

“All those pools of spring water— who else could they possibly share them with?”

“Hahahahahaha!”

“Good!”

“Reward him!”

“Long live the First Prince!”

“Magnificent, a prince of Great Yan!”

When you told stories in the streets, if you did not throw in a few dirty jokes, if you did not exaggerate, how were you supposed to stir the atmosphere?

And without the atmosphere, how were you supposed to earn tips?

People who made their living wandering the jianghu performed for ordinary laboring folk.

If you forcibly turned everything into elegant high art, you would only lose the original flavor and end up looking neither fish nor fowl.

As long as everyone was happy, as long as the audience was happy, as long as the people feeding your bowl were happy that was enough.

“Heh-heh-heh.”

Chief Constable Yan listened from the doorway, laughing under his breath.

To tell the truth, he was actually somewhat looking forward to seeing how the story would turn next toward all those unspeakable affairs between his eldest brother and the imperial women of Dacheng.

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, one of his constables squeezed over.

“Chief, something happened at the yamen.”

“What happened?”

“Someone died.”

The moment Chief Constable Yan heard that, he immediately dumped the rest of his sunflower seeds into the hands of a man who, like him, had been squeezing beside the doorway to listen for free.

Then he hurried back to the yamen with his subordinate.

Someone had indeed died inside the yamen.

When Chief Constable Yan entered the main hall, he saw a man dressed in black sitting on the floor.

The man held a roast chicken in his left hand and a jar of wine in his right.

He was eating and drinking with tremendous enthusiasm.

The County Magistrate sat above the hall.

The yamen runners and constables who had rushed over surrounded the man, but none dared step forward and deal with him.

Oh.

And there was also a corpse lying beneath the hall.

Chief Constable Yan knew the dead man.

Monkey San.

He ran a gambling den on the back street and also lent money at vicious interest.

At this moment, Monkey San was extremely, thoroughly dead.

“What happened?”

Chief Constable Yan grabbed one of the constables and asked.

“Chief, you’re finally here.

“Now this is something strange.

“Originally, this man owed Monkey San money and refused to repay it.

“Monkey San dragged him here to report the case.

“His Honor had just prepared to open court when this man suddenly pulled a lump of iron from his pocket and smashed Monkey San to death right here.

“Killing someone in court was already one thing.

“But after that, the man sat down, accepted food and drink, and made no attempt to flee.

“He just said that once he finished this meal, he’d put on the iron cangue, accept exile to the army, and go serve at the front.”

“He brought the wine and meat himself?”

“No.

“Those people over there gave it to him.

“They’re all his brothers.

“There are quite a few.”

Chief Constable Yan looked over.

Only then did he notice that among the commoners gathered outside the county yamen to watch the commotion, a group of sturdy young men were kneeling on the ground.

“Tsk, tsk.”

Chief Constable Yan pushed through the crowd.

He walked directly over to the man and squatted down.

“Brother, enough wine?”

The man raised his head and looked at Chief Constable Yan.

He smiled.

“Enough.

“If I get drunk, I won’t be able to walk.

“It’s a long road from here to Dacheng.”

Chief Constable Yan sat cross-legged in front of him.

He pointed toward the lifeless Monkey San.

“Grudge between you?”

“Just got back from moving goods.

“I found out that this Monkey San had cheated an old mother belonging to one of my brothers.

“For a debt of a hundred copper coins, he took her house and land.

“Once the old woman understood what had happened, she had nowhere to seek justice.

“She threw herself into a well and died.

“My brother died early.

“When we were first out making our way in the world, I ate no small number of flatbreads from his mother’s kitchen.

“Now I come home and hear this happened?

“Fine.

“One life for one life.

“I killed Monkey San to avenge my dead brother and his mother.

“Afterward, I can go to the front as a penal soldier and slaughter savages or Qian dogs.”

Monkey San’s reputation was naturally atrocious.

He conducted shameless business.

There were many families he had cheated into ruin.

But Monkey San’s backer was the Registrar.

So all this time, nobody had dared touch him.

Now Monkey San was dead.

One could at least say a public scourge had been removed.

Chief Constable Yan remembered something his brother surnamed Zheng had once said.

Why was the jianghu clearly unfit for the grand stage, yet still able to attract so many people?

Because sometimes, people of the jianghu did things that those “well-dressed beasts” never would.

Chief Constable Yan had already spent some time in Nan’an County.

He knew about many of Monkey San’s evil deeds.

He simply had not been in a hurry to clean the man up yet, because he had not finished sorting out his relationship with the Registrar.

Of course, the most important reason was that no matter how rotten Monkey San was, he would never use those methods against Chief Constable Yan himself.

That was the real reason there had been no urgency.

“Brother, give me your name.”

“Heh-heh.

“I’ll have to sign the confession and submit to punishment soon anyway.

“Fine.

“Since you ask, I’ll tell you.

“This one is Ran Min of Nan’an.

“People call me Ran Big Beard.”

“Where’s the beard?”

“I shaved it in advance.

“Would’ve been a nuisance on the road to exile.

“Lice too.”

As he spoke, Ran Min turned toward the group kneeling outside the yamen.

“Stop looking like you’re attending a funeral!

“We’re all joining the army together.

“You lot are going in as laborers and miscellaneous troops.

“I’m starting as a penal soldier.

“As long as there are battles to fight, it won’t take long before I rise again.

“When that happens, I’ll still lead you boys to kill enemies!”

Then, Ran Min turned toward the County Magistrate sitting high above.

“My apologies, great upright magistrate.

“I didn’t give you much face by killing someone right in your courtroom.

“But Your Honor ought to come down and share a cup of wine with me.

“This affair will spread sooner or later and become a fine tale.

“Hahahahaha!

“I’m handing Your Honor a perfect east wind.

“If you refuse to ride it, wouldn’t that waste all my good intentions?”

The County Magistrate remained seated.

He did not come down.

His face twitched visibly from anger.

Chief Constable Yan watched and felt somewhat helpless.

No wonder this County Magistrate had been hollowed out by the Registrar and County Deputy.

He lacked even this little bit of nerve.

Free official reputation was practically being placed in his hands, and he still refused to take it.

If that bastard surnamed Zheng were here, he would have rushed down already and toasted the man three cups in a row.

Then, with tears in his eyes, he would loudly recite the judgment.

After that, he would cover his face, embrace the fellow, and cry bitterly.

He would not stop until the story had been nailed permanently into public memory.

Ran Min shook his head.

Then he looked back toward Chief Constable Yan sitting before him.

He sighed.

“A pity.

“His Majesty may not forbid low-ranking yamen men from entering officialdom, but brother, for a constable like you to climb upward is still damned difficult.

“You aren’t an official.

“So even if people praise you, that reputation is useless.

“But if we’re talking about a jianghu nickname— brother, do you want one?”

“I’ll take it.”

Chief Constable Yan never refused anything.

He took whatever came his way.

Ran Min lifted the wine jar and drank deeply.

Then he passed it to Chief Constable Yan.

“Brother.

“Drink!”

Chief Constable Yan did not care that the man had already drunk from it.

He lifted the jar and took a large mouthful himself.

Ran Min laughed loudly.

Then he shouted toward the people outside, “May I ask this brother’s honored name?”

Chief Constable Yan deliberately made himself look slightly drunk.

Then he shouted at the top of his lungs, “Yan Little Sixth of Nan’an!”

“Good!

“To recognize another brother before I’m sent away is a great pleasure!

“Wait for me.

“Once your elder brother reaches the front and earns enough military merit, I’ll carve myself out a proper reputation.

“Forget Lieutenant Commander.

“At the very least, I’ll become a Garrison Commander.

“Maybe even an Assistant General!

“Hahahahahaha!

“Once the war is over and your elder brother gets the chance to return, you can follow me and work under me from then on.

“A son of Great Yan wasting his life as a constable?

“Killing dogs before the battle lines— that is real pleasure!

“Little Sixth!

“Wait for me.

“From now on, your elder brother will protect you!”

To speak of risking one’s life in battle and obtaining military merit as though it were something one could reach into a bag and casually retrieve those words were certainly arrogant.

But the waters of the jianghu might be shallow, and yet flood dragons and serpents were often born there.

What the future would bring who could say?

Chief Constable Yan laughed.

“What a coincidence.

“One of my brothers said almost exactly the same thing years ago.

“That was before he joined the army too.”

“Hahaha!

“He was bragging.

“Your elder brother is different!”

Chief Constable Yan raised his head and let out a long sigh.

“I really do miss that brother a little.

“Almost a year now.”

“He died in battle?”

“...”

Yan Little Sixth.

Seeing Chief Constable Yan fall silent, Ran Min’s expression immediately became solemn.

“A true man.

“If he died fighting for Great Yan, then he deserves respect.

“Come, Brother Yan.

“Let us pour this cup for your departed brother!”

“Heh-heh-heh.”

Yan Little Sixth began laughing.

He laughed until his stomach hurt, but still nodded.

He reached out and grasped the same wine jar as Ran Min.

Together, they turned the mouth downward.

Wine spilled onto the floor.

“Brother, travel well.

“Rest easy on the road beyond!”

...

“Achoo!”

General Zheng, who had just been helped by Siniang to sit at the bedside and drink chicken soup, sneezed violently.

He nearly spilled the bowl in his hands.

“Heh.

“Who’s thinking about me?”

[End of Chapter 300]