Chapter 410: The Weasel Brings a Chicken for New Year's

“How is he now?”

Zheng Fan stood beside the coffin and asked Liang Cheng.

Earlier, Liang Cheng had been outside commanding the ambushing troops in case anything unexpected happened. Only after the entire affair ended did he dismiss the armored soldiers and hurry over.

When the problem involved a zombie, another zombie was probably the person most capable of understanding it.

Liang Cheng carefully examined Sha Tuo Queshi.

Then he stood there for a very long time, apparently organizing his emotions and considering exactly how to express himself.

At last, with great difficulty a faint smile appeared on his face.

Liang Cheng smiled so rarely that he possessed practically no muscular memory for it. Besides, the muscles in his face were not quite the same as those of an ordinary person to begin with.

Still, that smile allowed Zheng Fan to relax considerably.

Although Zheng Fan felt Liang Cheng could simply have spoken. There was no need to force himself to communicate through facial expressions if doing so was vastly more troublesome than opening his mouth.

“Master.

“He awakened.”

“Awakened? Then why is there no movement?”

“It is like this, Master.

“An existence such as a zombie follows a process of returning to life from death. It is somewhat similar to a human infant being born in a state of ignorance.

“The difference is that humans naturally grow up. Unless they possess some congenital defect in intelligence, an infant gradually develops reason, self-awareness, and independent thought as it matures.

“Zombies are different.

“More than ninety-nine percent of zombies come into existence through accidents. Even zombies deliberately produced by arranging feng-shui formations and artificially catalyzing the corpse are fundamentally the same.

“The difference may lie in how strong such a zombie is when it first emerges. But generally speaking, they possess almost no true intelligence.

“When an infant is hungry, it cries and wants milk.

“A zombie needs Blood-Food.

“The blood of close relatives in particular carries an even stronger attraction for them—rather like better-tasting milk powder.

“The difference is that an infant is too weak to get up and prepare its own milk.

“A zombie has an extremely powerful body.

“So driven purely by instinct, it can easily cause terrible harm to the local population.

“Sha Tuo Queshi became a zombie because the priests of the Barbarian Royal Court forcibly summoned him back. Those priests should have paid an enormous price for it.

“But after becoming a zombie, he always retained a certain degree of restraint.

“Compared with an ordinary zombie, he possessed one additional measure of control over his own instincts.

“That was probably because, while alive, he had already been an extraordinary man.

In life, be a hero among men;
in death, a hero among ghosts.

“That line truly describes people like him.

“Even after death, even after being refined into a zombie, he still disdained becoming some muddled, witless thing.”

“So, A’Cheng, what you mean is that he has now escaped that zombie-like ignorance?”

“Yes.

“Because this subordinate can hardly sense any resentment remaining inside him now.

“Truthfully, the Commandery Princess coming here and approaching this close to him actually created an opportunity.

“He had always buried hatred for the Commandery Princess in his heart.

“That hatred was the reason for his death.

“It was also his obsession.

“During the two or three years since Sha Tuo Queshi became a zombie, he has actually spent the entire time restraining that hatred and those instincts.

“But blocking is never as effective as guiding.

“What happened last night was essentially him finally venting the obsession buried inside his heart.

“Of course, the method was extremely dangerous.

“Leaving aside the chances of success or failure, if Master had not acted last night, Sha Tuo Queshi might very well have ended up branded by the Commandery Princess and turned into a puppet under her control.”

“That ending would have been too miserable.”

His entire tribe exterminated by that woman.

Killed because he went to demand an explanation from that woman.

And then, in the end, controlled by that same woman and turned into a puppet.

“Huu...”

Zheng Fan sighed.

“Fortunately, he succeeded.

“This can be considered a kind of self...”

Liang Cheng hesitated, then said:

“Evolution.”

“Evolution?”

Sometimes, Zheng Fan truly felt fortunate that after awakening in this world, the Demon Kings had remained beside him.

While he explored the unfamiliar circles of this new world, he could still live inside another circle that remained familiar to him one where words from modern life could still be used naturally.

“How far has he evolved?

“Can he become like a normal person now?”

“Yes, Master.

“There should not be much of a problem.

“He may not be completely fluent or adaptable yet, and he certainly cannot become exactly the same as he was while alive.

“But at the very least—he should now be able to speak and communicate.

“In the future, there will still be opportunities for him to improve and continue adapting until, eventually...”

Liang Cheng pointed at himself.

“Become like you?”

Aside from sounding somewhat cold, Liang Cheng’s speech was essentially no different from that of a normal person.

“There is a chance.”

“Then when will he wake up?”

The “awakening” they had discussed earlier referred to Sha Tuo Queshi escaping his state of zombie ignorance.

What Zheng Fan meant now was when would Sha Tuo Queshi actually stand up again?

“This subordinate does not know.”

“You don’t know?”

“This time, his expenditure was too severe.

“He needs to sleep now.

“Perhaps one or two years.

“Perhaps ten or twenty.

“Perhaps even...”

Liang Cheng had deliberately chosen his words carefully.

For a zombie, sleeping for a century at a time was not particularly unusual.

“Fuck.”

Count Zheng cursed instinctively.

He had originally thought Old Sha would simply sleep for a while, then wake up, and afterward the two of them could finally sit face-to-face, drink wine, and admire the scenery together.

Who could have imagined that instead of occasionally awakening the way he had before he had now entered some kind of long-term reset.

“Is there any way to wake him earlier?” Zheng Fan asked.

This feeling was terrible.

It was far too much of a loss.

Old Sha had at least been capable of acting as a guard kept at home before.

Now he could not even serve that function.

Count Zheng suddenly felt his sense of security plummet.

“There are ways to accelerate the process.

“For example, when we go to war in the future, we can bring him with us.

“After the battle ends, place him in the center of the battlefield and allow him to absorb the blood qi and resentment.”

The Blind Man heard this and nodded.

“That’s easy enough.

“From now on, every time Master campaigns, he can bring a coffin with him.

“Tell outsiders that Master carries his own coffin into battle and will not return until the enemy is destroyed.”

Liang Cheng continued:

“There is another method.

“Master can advance another two levels.

“At the same time, this subordinate needs to recover twice more.

“After that, waking him would only take a few minutes.”

Hearing this, the Blind Man suddenly no longer felt like speaking.

Because this time he himself still had not advanced yet.

Zheng Fan helplessly covered his forehead.

Then cursed:

“So what the hell is this supposed to count as?

“I suddenly feel like the protagonist in one of those old television dramas.

“They throw you two damaged divine artifacts and tell you to carry them around while slowly developing and repairing them.”

One Sword Saint crippled.

One Left Guli King flat on his back.

It was no exaggeration to say that if the Sword Saint stood at his peak and Sha Tuo Queshi also stood at his peak—

Count Zheng could bring the two of them to Yanjing.

Naturally, he would still need to stay a decent distance away from the city so he would not be surrounded by tens of thousands of Imperial Guards.

A little farther away was fine.

He could climb onto some small hill outside the capital and shout a greeting toward the Emperor of Yan living in the palace within.

Or perhaps if he became even more heartless with the Sword Saint and Sha Tuo Queshi standing behind him—

Zheng Fan could sit directly on a doorstep.

Then, when Tian Wujing, Marquis of Jingnan, came riding over on his Pixiu—

Zheng Fan could lightly pat the space beside him and say:

“What are you standing around for?

“Sit.”

The Blind Man seemed able to see exactly what Master was imagining.

He said:

“Master, if the Sword Saint had never been crippled and Sha Tuo Queshi had never died, neither of them would be beside you now.”

“Blind Man, are you mocking me?”

“No.

“This subordinate is comforting Master.”

“Fine.

“Comforting.”

Zheng Fan patted the coffin lid, then pointed toward the wall opposite.

“I heard the Savage King had some kind of epileptic fit last night?”

The Blind Man answered:

“He has probably lived beside Sha Tuo Queshi for too long.

“His body has been affected by the baleful qi.”

An ordinary person merely brushing against bad yin energy could go home and fall ill.

The Savage King had been living directly beside a great zombie.

And most of the Savage King’s skill points had been invested in his brain.

He possessed little cultivation of his own.

Zheng Fan looked at Liang Cheng.

“Will anything happen to him?”

Liang Cheng answered succinctly:

“If he has only been falling ill up to now, then given enough time, he will gradually adapt.”

“Good.

“Then there’s no need to move his room.”

Zheng Fan clapped his hands.

“Come on.

“Let’s go see our Commandery Princess.”

At the mention of the Commandery Princess, a smile involuntarily appeared on Count Zheng’s face.

Admittedly, after leaving the illusion the previous night, he had vomited so violently that it felt as though someone had thrown him into an industrial drum and spun him for several kilometers.

But he had to admit he had enjoyed himself tremendously.

Unfortunately, a situation like that could happen once but not twice.

Sha Tuo Queshi had already exhausted himself into deep sleep.

The Demon Child was listless today as well.

They left the underground area and returned aboveground.

Zheng Fan led everyone toward the western residence.

A line of guards stood outside the gate.

All were personal retainers of the Commandery Princess.

The moment Zheng Fan and the others approached more than twenty guards drew their blades and pointed them forward.

The leader shouted:

“Stop where you are!”

“Presumptuous!

“This is Count Pingye Residence!

“You dare point weapons at the Count himself?”

Liang Cheng stepped forward and stared directly at them.

He was a great zombie and had spent the last several years commanding troops.

There was naturally nothing lacking in his aura.

“Seventh Uncle gave orders!

“No outsider may enter the western residence!”

But the Commandery Princess’s guards were no ordinary men either.

They would not be frightened off easily.

Liang Cheng clapped his hands.

Then shouted:

“Men!”

*Hummm!*

*Hummm!*

A group of armored soldiers immediately rushed out from the rear.

At the same time, soldiers armed with bows and crossbows appeared over the walls of the western residence.

Security at Count Pingye Residence had always been treated as one of the highest priorities.

After the Commandery Princess moved in, it had been strengthened even further.

“Ten breaths.

“If your blades are not sheathed within ten breaths—you will all be killed on the spot!”

“Yes!”

“Yes!”

At that moment, Seventh Uncle appeared.

Seeing the scene, he immediately rebuked his own men:

“This is Count Pingye Residence!

“How dare you draw weapons on Count Pingye?

“Sheathe them!”

Only then did the guards put away their blades.

Liang Cheng also took the opportunity to step back.

Zheng Fan walked forward and cupped his hands toward Seventh Uncle.

“Seventh Uncle.

“What exactly is the meaning of this?”

“Count Pingye, please do not blame them.

“There truly is a reason.

“Count—please come inside.”

Zheng Fan nodded and followed Seventh Uncle into the western residence.

Truthfully, because of what had happened the previous night, Zheng Fan already knew the Commandery Princess would probably be very difficult to awaken.

There was even a chance she might end up in a vegetative state.

But the incident had happened inside his residence.

Even though there was no trace whatsoever linking him to it, suspicion naturally still existed.

So despite knowing perfectly well that security around the Commandery Princess would now be extremely strict, Zheng Fan had still deliberately forced his way over.

Even Liang Cheng’s earlier aggressive response—drawing out the armored troops—had partly been an intentional display.

The goal was to wash away suspicion by acting in exactly the opposite direction.

...

“What?

“The Commandery Princess has fallen ill?”

Zheng Fan cried out in disbelief.

“Alas.

“Yes,” Seventh Uncle sighed.

But from the corner of his eye, he kept watching Zheng Fan.

Count Zheng’s acting skill had advanced at astonishing speed over the past few years.

His performance was flawless.

There was no chance Seventh Uncle would catch any crack in it.

Besides, with examples like the Sword Saint before him, Zheng Fan understood swordsmen and sword fanatics fairly well.

Their ability with swords was first-rate.

In most other fields rather ordinary.

There was nothing to panic over.

After several rounds of probing from both sides, Seventh Uncle finally said:

“Count.

“The Commandery Princess’s illness is somewhat difficult.

“I intend to take her to Fengxin City and ask the Marquis of Jingnan to treat her.”

“Ask the Marquis of Jingnan?”

“The military physicians of the Jingnan Army are extremely capable.”

In truth, Seventh Uncle knew perfectly well that the Commandery Princess’s condition was not an ordinary illness.

Da Hu and Er Hu, both disciples of the Drunken Immortal Elder, had been unable to resolve it.

That meant they needed a more accomplished Qi Refiner.

Seventh Uncle knew Tian Wujing publicly appeared to be a Third Grade Martial Artist.

But the Marquis of Jingnan also understood arts beyond ordinary cultivation.

For the sake of the Marquis of Zhenbei, Tian Wujing could hardly refuse to act and help the Commandery Princess.

The excuse about military physicians was merely a cover.

The Commandery Princess remained unmarried.

And with so many rumors already surrounding her repeatedly failed marriage to the Crown Prince, news that she had suddenly developed some strange mental illness would be far too damaging.

Seventh Uncle had watched the Commandery Princess grow up.

Naturally, he thought from the position of an elder and tried to protect her future.

“Only, Count, you understand the situation.

“Earlier, when we traveled from west to east, it was still manageable.

“We stayed close to the Tianduan Mountains and mostly had to worry about wild beasts.

“But if we go south—things are unstable there now.”

Zheng Fan slapped his thigh.

“Seventh Uncle, what kind of words are those?

“The Commandery Princess showed this Zheng the favor of recognizing his talent.

“Now I am ashamed that Snow Sea Pass is still newly established and I cannot summon some famous physician to treat her.

“Since Fengxin City has military physicians of such extraordinary ability, then what is there to hesitate over?

“I will personally lead cavalry and escort the Commandery Princess to Fengxin City.”

“This... this is unnecessary.

“How could we trouble Count Pingye to escort her personally?”

“Aiya, it’s nothing.

“Nothing at all.

“The Chu people have been restless lately anyway.

“I was already thinking of going to Fengxin City and listening to the Marquis’s instructions.

“This kind of thing should be common enough in the Zhenbei Army too.

“Seventh Uncle need not overthink it.

“It really is on the way.”

The situation was strange and unsettled.

For a Garrison Commander below to visit the Marquis and receive personal guidance was entirely reasonable.

Naturally, once an actual campaign began, abandoning one’s post without authorization would be another matter.

Seventh Uncle nodded.

“In that case—many thanks, Count Pingye.”

“No need for thanks.

“No need.

“There is no time to lose.

“The Commandery Princess’s condition cannot be delayed.

“Please prepare quickly, Seventh Uncle.

“I still need to hand over several matters on my side.

“We leave this afternoon.”

“Good.

“Good!”

...

“Hey.

“Do you have to be this down-to-earth?”

Zheng Fan pushed open the Sword Saint’s front gate.

He found the Sword Saint sitting inside the courtyard holding a torch and singeing the bristles off the pig’s head.

“If I don’t burn the hair off, how am I supposed to eat it?” the Sword Saint answered irritably.

“You came to demand payment for the pig’s head?”

“Obviously.

“You think I’m letting you take advantage of me for free?”

“Heh.

“Your heart really is black enough.”

“I’ll put it on your tab first.

“We’ll settle it later.”

Since the Sword Saint liked this kind of interaction, Count Zheng saw no need to act generous.

A pig’s head was naturally nothing to Count Zheng.

But what was this?

This was called flavor.

If it made the Sword Saint happy, Count Zheng did not mind personally playing along.

“Where’s Sister-in-law?” Zheng Fan asked.

“At work.”

“Tiger went to school?”

“Mm.”

“And the old woman?”

“Out sweeping the streets.”

The Sword Saint sighed and looked at Zheng Fan.

“If you hadn’t already checked who was home, how could you possibly have pushed open my door this casually?”

“I still have to ask after everyone.

“Go through the motions, right?”

“Heh.

“That girl came into the city in the middle of the night yesterday.

“You people certainly gave her a thorough reception.”

“You sensed it?”

“I felt something.”

“There were circumstances.

“Alas.

“That girl is not easy to provoke.

“She genuinely dares kill people.”

“She is a Commandery Princess, after all.”

“She’s lying in bed now.

“Can’t wake up.

“In a little while I still have to lead troops to Fengxin City.”

“Fengxin City?

“To find Tian Wujing?”

“Right.”

“Tian Wujing can undo it.

“That was how he defeated me back then.”

Years earlier, in the forest outside the Jin capital region the Marquis of Jingnan had first used his Martial Artist body to forcibly wear down the Sword Saint’s sword qi.

Then he used arts beyond ordinary cultivation to form a restriction.

That was how he ultimately defeated the Sword Saint.

The Sword Saint tapped the pig’s head.

Then said:

“But what exactly are you doing, Count Zheng?

“You spent so much effort last night finally muddling that girl unconscious.

“Now you’re personally bringing her to someone who can undo it?

“Isn’t that taking off your pants just to fart?”

“Heh.

“That’s exactly why I’m taking off my pants to fart.

“If I don’t go and the Marquis wakes her up immediately, wouldn’t everything we did be wasted?

“In my view—at minimum, she should stay unconscious for a year or so.”

If the Marquis of Jingnan refused to undo it, then Seventh Uncle could only take the Commandery Princess back.

The major Daoist ancestral temples that had once existed across Jin had long since been trampled during the wars.

Tianhu Mountain itself had been burned clean by fire.

As for wandering Daoists or reclusive experts, Seventh Uncle would never casually let people like that examine the Commandery Princess.

So there was a very high chance he would have no choice but to take her all the way back to Yanjing before finding someone suitable.

The Commandery Princess remained unconscious.

She could not ride a fast horse.

She had to lie inside a carriage.

That alone would stretch the journey enormously.

Then after arriving in Yanjing, they would still have to find someone.

More time.

According to the Blind Man the longer she remained unconscious, the greater the chance that even after she was eventually awakened, her mind would never function quite as well as before.

“Tian Wujing really does spoil you,” the Sword Saint said.

Then, after thinking it through, he nodded.

“He probably would.”

After all, the Marquis of Jingnan’s son was still being raised by Zheng Fan.

And at the end of the day this was only one Commandery Princess.

For the sake of Great Yan, Tian Wujing had already exterminated his entire household.

If Li Liangting lost one daughter, what did that count for?

Besides, Tian Wujing would not be deliberately harming his daughter.

He would simply decline to lend a hand.

The Chu people were plainly preparing to cause trouble.

At a time like this, Tian Wujing preserving his strength and maintaining his own condition to deal with the greater situation—rather than spending cultivation to save one young woman would that not be perfectly reasonable?

The Sword Saint flipped the pig’s head over.

As he continued singeing it, he shook his head.

“Ordinary people in the streets all believe the Marquis of Jingnan is some great demon completely devoid of humanity.

“Emperors and nobles understand that the Marquis of Jingnan is willing to sacrifice anything for Great Yan.”

“Mm?

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

The Sword Saint tossed the torch to the ground and rolled it beneath his shoe until it went out.

Then said:

“So logically speaking—

“Tian Wujing should have cut you down with one saber a long time ago.”

“...”

Zheng Fan.

————

[End of Chapter 410]