Chapter 427: Overstuffed

“Uncle~~~”

What did people mean by a woman born to enchant men?

Count Zheng felt he finally understood.

Compared with the woman in front of him, those Twelve Phoenix Hairpins outside holding their poetry gathering might as well have been a pack of middle-school and elementary-school girls.

Zheng Fan had always believed his self-control was excellent.

But right now even he was beginning to lose his grip.

Siniang was not here.

And when meat was practically delivered to your lips for free refusing to take even one bite might be an insult to Fan Zhengwen’s good intentions.

Worse it might damage his cooperation with the Fan Clan.

Which could affect whether the princess-abduction operation succeeded.

Which could affect the future Yan–Chu war.

Which in turn could affect the entire balance of power in the East.

And ultimately the structure of the whole world.

Liu Ruqing did not understand why the man before her frightened her so much.

Whenever his eyes fell upon her she instinctively felt fear.

As though some beast had already rested its fangs against her shoulder and she could no longer control herself.

That was actually quite normal.

The Fan Residence might formally be a servant household of the Qu Clan.

But the Qu Clan itself ranked among the foremost great nobles of Chu.

Otherwise, Qu Tiannan could never have held the office of Pillar of State.

So even though the Fan Clan did not possess much “political status” on paper in ordinary society, it was already a household of dazzling prestige.

Living inside the Fan Residence, Liu Ruqing usually interacted only with the young ladies of the household.

When would she ever have a chance to meet real military brutes?

Let alone a decorated general like Count Zheng a man who had genuinely walked out of mountains of corpses and seas of blood.

“Miss Liu, what did you come to see me for?”

“I...

“Ruqing came under Grandmother’s instruction to invite Uncle to diagnose an illness.”

“Oh.

“Fine.

“Then I’ll check your pulse first.”

“No, no, no, Uncle.

“Ruqing came to ask Uncle to examine Grandmother.”

“Hm?”

Apparently—

Fan Zhengwen had arranged some identity for him inside the residence.

A physician.

Or perhaps a famous physician.

And Zheng Fan still did not know who had instructed Liu Ruqing to call him “Uncle.”

If he and Fan Zhengwen were considered the same generation then Liu Ruqing could indeed call him Uncle.

If he had been arranged as one generation above Fan Zhengwen then “Uncle” would also work.

But whatever.

He had to admit it sounded extremely pleasant when Liu Ruqing called him that.

If possible, Zheng Fan felt that every night before bed, Liu Ruqing could stand beside his bed and call him “Uncle” several dozen times.

The feeling would probably seep tingling sweetness straight into his bones.

Still who exactly was this Fan Clan Grandmother?

Fan Zhengwen’s mother?

No.

Probably someone from his grandmother’s generation.

Since he was already here, Zheng Fan might as well settle into things.

He had been very satisfied with Fan Zhengwen’s arrangements during his first day in the residence.

There had been no greasy mountain of banquet dishes piled in front of him.

No tedious drinking contests or forced toasts.

Instead small dishes, main dishes, cold plates, and hot dishes had simply been laid out.

Take whatever you wanted.

Eat whatever you wanted.

“Then I’ll trouble Miss Liu to lead the way.”

“Uncle, please follow me.”

“Good.”

Zheng Fan followed Liu Ruqing outside.

The moment he emerged, all the young beauties in the pavilion stood and bowed toward him.

Zheng Fan waved lightly.

He had not actually interacted with them.

Earlier he had merely watched them through the window while eating breakfast.

The Fan Residence was enormous.

But if you were not a servant working inside it if you were a guest instead its size did not become tiring.

Everywhere one looked there was scenery.

Even in deep winter the place remained enough to keep the eyes busy.

The courtyard where the Fan Clan Grandmother lived was roughly the same size as Qingfang Studio.

But although it was winter, the instant Zheng Fan stepped inside waves of warm air struck him.

At the same time flowers bloomed everywhere.

There was not the slightest hint of the bitter winter outside.

An elderly woman sat on the steps.

No servants could be seen around her.

She held a small hand shovel in her left hand.

Her right hand was stained with soil.

Clearly, she had just been tending the flowers herself.

Do not imagine that meant she was suffering.

At this very moment, countless elderly people elsewhere were probably curled in corners, wrapped in ragged cotton that barely retained warmth.

Shivering.

Uncertain whether they could even survive the winter.

To be able to wear only a light jacket in this season then casually crouch beside flowerbeds and do a little gardening was already an extreme luxury.

“Grandmother, your granddaughter-in-law has brought Uncle.”

Granddaughter-in-law?

So she really was from the grandmother generation.

The elderly woman in front of him was Fan Zhengwen’s grandmother.

Because Liu Ruqing had been the wife of Fan Zhengwen’s younger brother.

“Good.

“Fourth Branch’s wife, go tell the kitchen to prepare some mung-bean soup and send it over.

“This old woman is practically roasting to death.”

“Yes, Grandmother.”

Liu Ruqing withdrew.

As she passed Zheng Fan a faint fragrance drifted behind her.

Not cloying.

And just enough to satisfy the appetite.

The old woman looked at Zheng Fan and cursed irritably:

“You’re a Count and still act like you’ve never seen a woman?”

Zheng Fan laughed.

Not embarrassed in the slightest.

He immediately slipped into the rhythm of the conversation.

“Exactly.

“I really haven’t seen many women quite that exquisite.”

“I don’t like the word ‘exquisite.’

“It sounds too much like you’re treating women as playthings.”

“Yes.”

Zheng Fan nodded.

“Sit, Count.

“There are melons over there.

“Pick one yourself.”

“Good.”

Zheng Fan sat.

He reached out and plucked a fragrant melon.

There was no need to wash it.

He would not eat the rind anyway.

He peeled it open and directly ate the flesh inside.

Sweet juice.

Fragrant flavor.

Delicious.

The old woman planted the tip of her small shovel against the step.

She looked at Zheng Fan.

“What do you think of this courtyard of mine?”

“Magnificent.

“Very refined.”

Zheng Fan wiped his mouth and answered:

“The last time I entered a place like this was inside the Emperor of Qian’s palace.”

The Emperor of Qian also possessed a warm hall.

Even in winter it remained extremely warm.

Naturally, creating this kind of “paradise beyond the world” in the depths of winter came at an enormous cost.

Nobody found it strange when the Emperor of Qian enjoyed such luxuries.

But when the Fan Residence could do the same one could not help thinking of the phrase:

**wealth rivaling a state.**

The old woman chuckled.

“I’ve lived this many years.

“Today I finally gained some face.

“To think I can be mentioned in the same breath as the Emperor of Qian.”

Earlier, Zheng Fan had told A’Ming he suspected somebody inside the Fan Residence wanted to see him.

Someone whose attitude toward the meeting itself was casual.

Most likely this was that person.

The old woman pointed around the courtyard.

“It looks warm, doesn’t it?

“But underneath all this warmth—the real strength holding it up is silver.

“In this world—the only thing that can genuinely make people feel warm is money.”

“Old Madam speaks with reason.”

“Oh?

“Count agrees?”

“When money presses down on your hands like a millstone—that’s when life becomes truly painful.”

“Exactly.

“Hehehe.

“By the way—when Ruqing called you ‘Uncle’ earlier—how did that feel?”

Both of them were thousand-year-old foxes.

There was no point playing *Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio* with one another.

Zheng Fan could tell the old woman was anything but ordinary.

So when dealing with her he behaved with unusual openness.

“It really sent tingles straight into my bones.”

“Hehehehehe.”

The old woman laughed.

She grabbed a handful of soil and tossed it toward Zheng Fan.

Naturally, it was only for show.

She scolded with a smile:

“You’re already her uncle.

“How can you think such shameless things about your own niece?”

“Forget that I became this ‘uncle’ completely out of nowhere.

“Even if I were truly her uncle—so what?

“Everyone says the filth hidden inside great aristocratic families piles up as high as their gold and silver.”

“Looks like Count Zheng knows one thing but not the second.”

“Oh?

“I’m listening.”

“The Fan Clan today looks dazzlingly wealthy.

“But much of that is only the momentum of blazing oil feeding a fire.

“The Fan Clan serves the Qu Clan.

“By principle, the larger share of all revenue must be handed over to the Qu Clan.

“What remains on the Fan Clan’s own books—truthfully—is not that much.

“The luxury you see today exists because the Qu Clan deliberately uses the Fan Clan as a decorated example—a signboard to gather hearts.

“If the Fan Clan did not secretly maintain certain other businesses—then today’s Fan Clan would be nothing more than a powdered skeleton.”

The old woman’s meaning was obvious.

The Qu Clan deliberately allowed the Fan Clan to appear wealthy and prosperous.

It was part of the show.

An emperor who wanted loyalty from officials and generals had to reward them generously.

A giant aristocratic house like the Qu Clan operated the same way.

But to prevent the Fan Clan from growing too powerful to prevent the servants from becoming stronger than their master the Qu Clan forced the Fan Clan to spend lavishly.

After handing over its fixed annual payments to the Qu Clan whatever money remained had to be burned away on extravagance.

Make the family look dazzling.

But keep the core hollow and fat with empty luxury.

This had probably been a deliberate balancing policy established by the Qu Clan long ago.

Policies above.

Countermeasures below.

Today’s Fan Clan had ultimately risen anyway.

The true foundation hidden beneath its glamorous appearance was already enough to shock the Qu Clan badly.

The old woman tossed the small shovel into the flowerbed.

Then said:

“At the end of the day—as long as Chu remains unbroken—the Fan Clan will never have a day when it truly raises its head.

“When a wealthy household remains wealthy for too long—some people develop the diseases of the rich.

“Others never become sick—and because they remain healthy, they become even less curable than the sick ones.

“Because one day they suddenly begin asking:

“Why should I bow and scrape before you?

“Why should my descendants for generation after generation serve your descendants as slaves?

“Alas.

“To put it plainly—all this trouble comes from eating too much and living too comfortably.”

Zheng Fan listened.

Then nodded.

“Count agrees?”

“That is human nature.”

“Exactly.

“Human nature.

“Zhengwen already told me everything.

“Whatever Count intends to do—the Fan Clan will help to the very end.

“To speak from the heart—even if the Fan Clan existing today is completely lost—that would not be such a pity.

“So long as one or two legitimate descendants survive.

“Alas.

“Even collateral branches would do.

“In the end—with the protection and support of Count and the Sixth Prince—building another Fan Clan would not be difficult.

“At that time—at least we could live upright as human beings.

“Couldn’t we?”

“You’ve thought this through extremely clearly.”

“Clearly?

“Heh.

“That’s just something I say.

“Zhengwen’s parents died early.

“I, meanwhile, am already this old and still alive.

“To say I have seen through life—that would be false.

“Because truthfully—

“I do not want to die either.

“When objects are used for too long, people grow tired of them and want a change of flavor.

“People are different.

“Generally speaking—the longer people live—the more afraid of death they become.

“Count, don’t blame this old woman for rambling.

“Originally, I never imagined you would actually come into the Fan Residence.

“Your status is too noble.

“With Count’s abilities and one thousand armored soldiers beneath you—even if something truly happened, you could dive into Mengshan or Qishan.

“Who would dare pat his chest and guarantee he could stop you?

“But Count came anyway.

“Since you came—this old woman naturally had to meet you.

“Had to say a few things.

“Whether those words are useful or useless does not matter.

“We still needed to show some attitude.”

“Yes.”

“Count—do you believe in mystical arts?”

Zheng Fan smiled.

Then shook his head.

“Not very much.”

The old woman nodded.

“Truthfully, neither do I.

“But unfortunately—this old woman refused to believe in fate since childhood—and yet people kept saying I possessed the constitution of a Mystic Cultivator.

“Divinations I performed casually while playing around—somehow always came true in the end.

“When I was young, I once cast a divination concerning Zhengwen’s grandfather.

“The omen said—that man prospered his wife.”

“There’s such a thing as a husband prospering his wife?”

“If there are wives who prosper husbands—naturally there are husbands who prosper wives.

“It is only because most men in this world treat women as accessories that nobody truly bothers thinking about it.

“Back then, I thought:

“fine.

“If I marry him—at least this life should pass peacefully and smoothly.

“Who can live through one full sixty-year cycle and pat their chest, guaranteeing nothing miserable or unexpected will happen?”

“No one.”

“Exactly.

“So I married him.

“At first—

“Zhengwen’s grandfather did not fancy me.

“At the time, I was only a little Buddhist nun.

“I thought I was fairly pretty.

“But Zhengwen’s grandfather already had a proper young lady from a matching household arranged for him.”

The old woman smiled serenely.

“So I cast a curse.

“First time I ever did that kind of thing.

“And made that young lady suddenly die.”

The old woman wore an utterly peaceful expression as she reminisced about the happy days of her youth.

“And after that, it worked?”

“How could it be that easy?

“The Fan Clan was popular even back then.

“A servant family of the Qu Clan—today it sounds humiliating.

“Back then—it was top-tier glory.

“So another two prospective brides died.

“Only then could Zhengwen’s grandfather no longer endure it.

“The first—people could say that girl had thin fortune.

“The second—just bad luck.

“By the third—even an idiot could tell something was wrong with the man himself.

“So he ran to a Daoist temple looking for peace of mind.

“He was already thinking of becoming a recluse.

“How could I allow that?

“So I drugged him.

“And slept with him.”

“Oh?”

“Two months later—

“I was pregnant with Zhengwen’s father.”

“Ho?”

“Another month later—

“Zhengwen’s grandfather returned to the residence.

“He secretly married me into the Fan Clan as well.

“Marrying a Buddhist nun after getting her pregnant before the wedding—not exactly honorable.

“So there were no gongs or drums.

“But who told me to have such good fortune?

“Not long after I entered—my mother-in-law died.

“That mother-in-law had disliked me immensely.

“She was always thinking of ways to establish rules and discipline me.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t ‘hm’ me.

“I didn’t curse my mother-in-law.

“Do I look like that kind of person?

“She died on her own.

“My first child was Zhengwen’s father.

“The legitimate eldest son now had an heir.

“My status—just like that—became fixed.

“Afterward, for all these years—

“I lived my own small life peacefully and smoothly.

“All the way—until today.”

“I envy you.”

“Yes.

“In this life, some people want to experience great winds and huge waves.

“Me?

“I’ve always preferred everything peaceful, smooth, and comfortable.”

“Indeed.”

“But guess what?

“Yesterday, when Count entered the residence—

“I suddenly felt the impulse to cast another divination.”

“What did the omen say?”

“Couldn’t understand it.”

The old woman shook her head.

“For whom did you cast it?”

“For the Fan Clan, of course.”

“Physicians cannot heal themselves.”

“But one can still gain some sense of what is coming.”

“True.”

“In the divination—the Fan Clan’s future was uncertain.

“Somewhere inside—

“I could faintly see the risk of total collapse.”

At those words—

Zheng Fan’s eyes narrowed slightly.

Then he smiled.

“What are you trying to say?”

The meaning behind the old woman’s words had already become very obvious.

“Guess what I did next?

“I became interested again.

“So I cast one for myself.

“You must understand—ever since marrying Zhengwen’s grandfather, I have never once cast a divination for myself again.”

“And what did that one say?”

The smile gradually vanished from the old woman’s face.

Eventually it became a kind of despairing calm.

She enunciated one word at a time:

“An ominous old age.”

Zheng Fan drew in a breath.

Then nodded.

“That sounds serious.”

“Truthfully—

“I do not believe in fate,” the old woman said.

“You should preserve that fine tradition.”

“But my divinations still allowed me to live more than sixty years of peaceful, stable life.”

“So what exactly are you trying to say?”

“People simply cannot eat too much.

“Once they eat until they are full—they begin thinking too much.”

“You already said that earlier.”

“Zhengwen—has eaten too much.”

“That is a blessing.”

“No.

“Not a blessing.

“Count—you said yourself you do not believe in fate.”

“Yes.

“I don’t.

“Master Zang once went into Yanjing to sever the dragon vein, did he not?

“But look at Great Yan today.

“You can see its momentum as clearly as anyone.”

“Because some people possess lives that are simply too hard.

“His Majesty the Emperor of Yan—is that sort of person.

“The fate of such people cannot be altered by others.

“Cannot be moved.

“They can even influence the fate of anyone who comes into contact with them.

“Count—you possess that sort of fate too.”

“Me?”

“Because ever since Count entered Chu—my fate—and the Fan Clan’s fate—have both changed.”

“So this is my fault?”

“Yes.”

“Be reasonable.”

“I’m a woman.”

“But you’re old.”

“Are you saying only young women qualify to be unreasonable?”

“Exactly.”

The old woman nodded.

Then suddenly laughed.

“Count—did I frighten you?”

“A little.”

“You’re lying to this old woman.

“You’ve seen true great storms.

“How could you possibly fear one old woman?

“Everyone knows Mystic Cultivators are excellent at pretending to be ghosts and gods.

“But everyone also knows—we are poor fighters.”

“This is still the Fan Residence.”

Zheng Fan pointed at the ground beneath his feet.

The old woman nodded.

“Count is correct.

“This is still the Fan Residence.”

The old woman slowly closed her eyes.

Then said:

“This old woman is tired.

“Later, please go find Ruqing.

“Tell her I said so.

“Have Count help her regulate her qi and blood.

“That girl’s life is bitter.

“And my grandson’s fortune was thin.

“He could not enjoy her.”

Count Zheng rubbed his hands together with slight embarrassment.

“How could I possibly accept that?”

“This old woman already told you.

“Count’s fate is hard.

“You can endure it.”

“Alas.”

Count Zheng sighed.

“Very well.

“If I do not enter Hell—who will?”

Count Zheng stood.

He walked out of the courtyard with all the tragic grandeur of:

The wind blows bleak by the Yi River, the waters run cold;
Once the brave man departs, he seek not to return.

At the courtyard entrance—

Count Zheng paused briefly.

Stretched.

Then continued walking.

A short while later a group of black-clothed deathsworn carrying sharp blades emerged from the flowerbeds inside the courtyard.

These were private warriors secretly raised by the Fan Clan.

Their loyalty was extraordinarily high.

Fan Zhengwen also arrived at the courtyard entrance.

He glanced around.

Waved one hand.

The deathsworn withdrew.

Then, Fan Zhengwen entered the courtyard.

The old woman still sat on the same step.

She opened her eyes slightly.

Glanced at her eldest grandson.

Then said:

“Jianghu stories say that when the Marquis of Jingnan exterminated his own household, he personally invited his old granduncle to die.

“What?

“You wanted to imitate him?”

Fan Zhengwen answered:

“My heart yearns for it.”

“You think you’re worthy of comparing yourself to Tian Wujing?”

“Your grandson naturally is not.”

“Heh.

“At least you still possess some self-awareness.

“Then let me ask you.

“If I had attacked Count Pingye just now—what would you have done?”

Fan Zhengwen slowly raised one hand.

He answered with complete calm:

“I would have helped Grandmother fulfill the divination.

“And proven that Grandmother’s calculations never miss.”

He would have made today the day her old age became ominous.

“Heh...

“Hehehe...

“Hehehehehe...”

Fan Zhengwen remained standing there.

He said nothing.

The old woman drew in a deep breath.

Then slowly said:

“What is wrong with being a dog?

“The whole family can live properly.

“Old and young alike.

“Is that not good enough?”

Fan Zhengwen raised one hand and pressed it against his own chest.

Then answered:

“But your grandson—has already eaten until I’m stuffed.”

————

[End of Chapter 427]