Chapter 877: A Change in the Emperor’s Heart

Wei Zhonghe, standing outside the door, had already awakened from his feigned doze, because he could clearly hear voices talking inside.

Yes. A conversation.

At first, Eunuch Wei was horrified. There was someone else inside the Emperor’s sleeping quarters?

But almost immediately, he realized the Emperor was talking to himself.

Cold sweat instantly began running down Wei Zhonghe’s forehead. He wanted to go inside and take a look, but he hesitated.

Then he heard footsteps. A moment later, the doors of the sleeping quarters opened.

Wei Zhonghe saw the Emperor walk out.

The Emperor’s eyes were open. He seemed perfectly awake, and yet Wei Zhonghe noticed that His Majesty’s gaze appeared fixed upon something. Some focal point. And the direction of that focus left him deeply confused.

“You’ve always been like this. Standing high above everyone else, convinced you could do anything, that anything was yours to do. Yet you never once took responsibility for the rotten mess you left behind. And now you’re actually laughing at me? Laughing at me?”

Every hair on Wei Zhonghe’s body stood upright. Who in Heaven was the Emperor talking to?

But he learned the answer very quickly, because another voice came from the Emperor’s mouth:

“You are Our son. It is only natural that the son repays the father’s debts. Besides, that throne was something you chose to fight for yourself.”

“...” Wei Zhonghe.

The Emperor began walking forward, toward the imperial study.

Wei Zhonghe drew several deep breaths. Was His Majesty trapped inside a nightmare?

For an ordinary household, the cure for something like this was simple. One slap. If one slap failed, use two. If two failed, four slaps in two rounds. If that still did not work, then force-feed him filth.

But Wei Zhonghe did not dare.

“The throne was something I fought for? You were the one who hung me over the fire and roasted me until I had no choice but to reach for it. And now you make it sound so pretty. Heh. Do you truly think the Imperial Ji father and son of Great Yan are some model of a loving father and filial son?”

Wei Zhonghe followed behind and accompanied the Emperor into the imperial study.

His Majesty did not sit upon the throne-like seat at the head of the room. Instead, he stood below it, his gaze fixed upon that seat.

“You make it sound as though We left you nothing but a board covered in barbed needles. How many fathers beneath Heaven can leave an entire realm to their sons? Do you really expect Us to believe that you, Ji Chengjue, never loved the realm, never wanted the dragon throne, and all you ever desired was a few mu of fertile fields and one thatched cottage?”

“Imperial Father, let’s discuss the matter itself. Some other things are impossible to untangle cleanly anymore, and there’s no reason to keep dragging them out. But on this particular matter, you’re laughing at me, and I refuse to accept it. You mock me for feeling fear, but the circumstances are fundamentally different.”

“We would like to hear how.”

“Imperial Father, you grew up together with Prince Zhenbei and Prince Jingnan. You were playmates. Kindred spirits.”

“And you and Zheng Fan did not meet while both of you were still insignificant? You were only an idle, disreputable Prince at the time, and he was merely some so-called Trade Escort Lieutenant. You think We had an advantage because Liangting and Wujing were Our childhood companions? Have you ever considered that Liangting was already the young heir of Marquis Zhenbei Residence? The bloodline was single-heir. In the next generation, the title of Marquis Zhenbei was unquestionably his. Wujing was a legitimate son of the Tian Clan, personally favored by the clan’s old ancestor since childhood. He received the ancestor’s secret arts directly and later inherited Meng Shou’s scholarly teaching. Even as children, the two of them were already great nobles. Do you really think We built that relationship merely by playing in the mud with them as boys? Chengjue, if that is what you believe, then you underestimate Us. And you underestimate Liangting and Wujing even more.”

True second-generation elites grew up in a completely different environment. Their starting line was already beyond the reach of ordinary men. Their vision, their caution, their schemes—none of these could be measured by common standards.

“Back then, We were only the heir of a princely household. We were not even Crown Prince yet. You understand perfectly well what that gap meant. By comparison, when you first met that Zheng Fan, your circumstances were far better than Ours had been. You were the one who had the advantage, Chengjue.”

Ji Chengjue shook his head.

“When the Southern Prince’s power grew too great, there was still the Northern Prince to balance him. Beneath them, two powers checked one another, and only because of that could Imperial Father sit securely above. Because you knew those two households could never decide to rebel together. If one rebelled, the other would inevitably turn around and tear him apart. Sitting on the fishing terrace—how comfortable that must have been. But me? Even now, I’m still worried whether that bastard surnamed Zheng can return alive. I don’t want anything to happen to him. If something happens to him, I’ll be heartbroken. I’ll be devastated. I’ll cry. I really will cry. But I also understand something more clearly than anyone. If he returns alive, a new Prince Jingnan will appear in Great Yan!

“Eastern Jin is already a military fief. No, it’s already a state! The court’s institutions cannot enter eastern Jin. He governs eastern Jin according to his own system. The people’s hearts? He has them. The army’s hearts? He has them. Commerce, military farming? He has those too. Give him another two or three years, and his eastern Jin will be able to support itself completely and abundantly. Meanwhile, I sit here cleaning up the rotten mess Imperial Father left me. He is over there starting from nothing, laying brush to an untouched white scroll.

“And most importantly, today, inside Great Yan, there is no longer another Prince Zhenbei capable of balancing him the way Prince Zhenbei once balanced Prince Jingnan! Before this, he rode out with only eighteen light cavalry and one princely command was enough to summon armies throughout Jin like clouds gathering around him. Now he has broken an enemy capital. His prestige inside Great Yan’s military is unquestionably number one. What am I supposed to rely on to protect myself? My elder brother? Li Liangshen? That little Prince Zhenbei who was born in a fishing village, knows how to behave properly with people, but whose true prestige and family foundation have already scattered away by seventy or eighty percent? Heh-heh-heh.

“Yes, his territory right now is only eastern Jin. But if he wants to, he can easily mobilize the elites under his command, summon the old Jingnan Army, then take control of the Jin Camp troops and march from eastern Jin straight across to western Jin with almost no obstruction, all the way to Mati Mountain. And then he raises the banner of ‘cleansing the Emperor’s side.’ What do I use to stop him? My elder brother and Li Liangshen together? Can they stop him? The regional armies, faced with my imperial decree and his princely command—which one will they obey? Even if I refuse to look down on Marquis Zhenbei Residence in Beifeng Commandery, would they really be willing to drag out the final scraps of their family foundation and stake everything on rescuing the Emperor?

“So long as he wants it, he can immediately obtain the qualifications to stand almost level with me, the rightful Emperor of Great Yan! He can sit openly before me and arm-wrestle me! But now, look across all Great Yan. No. Look across all Xia. Is there still anyone left who can defeat him in command of armies? Nian Yao? He’s already been castrated by Zheng Fan and sent into my palace!”

Outside the imperial study, Wei Zhonghe had long since dismissed the other eunuchs and palace maids. Only he remained guarding the door. Cold sweat kept beading across his forehead.

Inside the imperial study, Ji Runhao sat in the place of honor and looked at his son, watched him lose control of his emotions.

“So this is what lies inside your heart? This is the root of your fear?”

Ji Chengjue stood there without speaking.

“Then perhaps you understand now why, from ancient times until today, there have been so many Emperors who delighted their enemies and pained their own people, so many Emperors who destroyed their own foundations and cut off their own wings. Later generations read the histories and think those Emperors were unimaginably stupid. They do not understand that once you sit in that position, the way you think changes. And sometimes, it is not only you thinking these things. The hundreds of officials under you think even more than you do.

“Chengjue, tell Us. Those things you just said—are they truly your thoughts? The reason you cannot sleep at night is because you fear that one day Zheng Fan will overturn your realm? But you already invited him to sit upon the dragon throne with you. The two of you long ago laid certain matters out clearly between yourselves. He already told you what he wants. You already gave him what you can give. Do you not trust him? Or is the one you truly do not trust yourself? Suspicion. Distrust. The heart of an Emperor. Most often, it arises from within, not from without.”

Ji Chengjue clenched his teeth. He looked at his “Imperial Father.”

“I know what I should do. I have always known what I should do. I cannot make even the slightest move, not even the tiniest arrangement supposedly preparing for the future, that is unfavorable to Zheng Fan. Not one. I have to reassure him. I have to cut open this heart of mine and show it to him. Every so often, I have to wash myself clean. Every few days, I have to warn myself again. I cannot do it. I must not do it.

“For Great Yan. For the hegemony. For the day when the histories are written, I have to make you, my self-righteous Imperial Father, look utterly insignificant beside my radiance! I will unify all Xia. For a thousand years afterward, the mark of that unification will remain. And you? You will merely be decoration before my mark! You did not trust your descendants. That was why you were so desperate to cram several generations’ worth of work into your own hands and finish everything yourself. I will not let you enjoy that alone. I will make later generations judge you only after judging me. They will say you merely laid the foundation, and I was the true Emperor for the ages!”

He was practically roaring by the end.

Ji Chengjue tore at the dragon robe on his body. He pointed at his own face and glared viciously at his “Imperial Father” sitting above.

“So yes! I can endure! I can endure anything! I can let anything go! That bastard surnamed Zheng is my brother. He wins battles. He is Great Yan’s God of War. He is invincible beneath Heaven. He shines with boundless glory. And I, Yan’s Little Sixth, am happy for him from the bottom of my fucking heart!

“When he gambled everything and led troops into Qian, what I feared was not that if he lost, Great Yan’s entire strategic position might collapse. I did not care that Great Yan had already reached the point where we could no longer afford a defeat. What I feared was that bastard surnamed Zheng never coming back. In this whole world, the only person I find interesting, the only one qualified to be my friend, whether back when our statuses were low or now, the one person who has never fallen into vulgarity, the one person who can make me laugh, make me curse, make me laugh while I curse, is him. Only him.

“Sometimes I keep telling myself deep down: prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare for the possibility that one day that bastard surnamed Zheng leads a great army to the foot of Yanjing. And when that day comes, I will smile and open the city gates. Then I’ll stubbornly save face and tell him: ‘Your father here is tired of sitting on this dragon throne. Come suffer on it in my place. I should thank you.’”

As he spoke, Ji Chengjue, the Emperor of Great Yan, sat down on the floor.

One hand covered his face. He laughed and cried at the same time. His other hand was clenched into a fist and pressed against the blue stone floor of the imperial study.

The suppressed sounds continued for a long while.

Outside the door, Wei Zhonghe felt his heart contract every time the Emperor laughed. And whenever the sounds of His Majesty’s sobbing drifted out, the base of his spine turned cold.

Wei Zhonghe had served one generation of Emperors already. He had genuinely never encountered anything like this.

...

He laughed. He cried.

At last, Ji Chengjue lifted his head and discovered his “Imperial Father” was still sitting there.

Deep inside, he released a long breath.

He had been afraid. Afraid that the moment he raised his head, the seat above would be empty.

Even though, deep down, he knew perfectly well it had always been empty.

“We can wait a little longer for you.”

Ji Chengjue shook his head.

“Enough.”

“And then?”

“There is no then.” Ji Chengjue looked at his father. “Some things in this world cannot be solved by doing something. Sometimes, doing something is worse than doing nothing.”

“Too passive.”

“It is not passivity. From beginning to end, this has had nothing to do with Zheng Fan. It is my own problem.”

Ji Chengjue raised his head and pointed around the imperial study.

“In the past, I thought being Emperor was merely a job. No real difference from being a County Magistrate, a storehouse manager, or a Lieutenant commanding soldiers. But once I truly sat up there, I discovered it isn’t like that. An Emperor is a beast!”

Ji Chengjue pointed at the “Imperial Father” sitting above.

“You are an old beast.”

Then he pointed at himself.

“I am a little beast.”

Immediately afterward, Ji Chengjue continued:

“Chuanye. My child. He’s a tiny little beast.”

“Pff—”

Outside the imperial study, Wei Zhonghe almost lost control and let the breath burst out of him. He forcibly held it in. His entire face turned somewhat blue.

“Why is an Emperor called the solitary man? Because everyone else is human, and the Emperor is a beast. One beast standing among a crowd of people. If he isn’t solitary, what else could he be?”

“Heh-heh.” Ji Runhao laughed. “Little beast.”

“Hahahahaha!” Ji Chengjue laughed too. “Old beast.”

“...” Wei Zhonghe.

“So, little beast, have you decided what to do next?”

“Didn’t I just say it? Nothing. I do nothing. If Heaven wants rain, let it rain. If Mother wants to remarry, let her remarry. The more you do, the more mistakes you make.”

Bang!

Ji Chengjue punched himself hard in the chest.

“Can’t I be a little willful? Can’t I be a little simple? A man only lives this one life. When it is time to kneel, kneel. For example, when Imperial Father was alive, wasn’t I obedient every time? When it is time to stand upright, stand upright. When it is time to be happy, be happy. In this life, I have eaten bitterness. I have suffered hardship. And I have enjoyed blessings. Shouldn’t that make me understand even better how to cherish the days ahead?”

“Who taught you that?”

“Zheng Fan.”

“You intend to live that way?”

“Yes. I’ve decided. And whether Imperial Father comes out or sits in front of me has nothing to do with it. You old beast, you’re already buried in the imperial mausoleum. I watched them seal the entrance with my own eyes. I stared carefully. I watched seriously. Do you know why? I was terrified those craftsmen might get careless and leave even the tiniest opening and give you, old beast, another chance to crawl back out! Hahahahahaha!

“What are you doing here? I’m asking you! Why did you suddenly come out for no reason? What the hell are you doing? You’re dead! Why couldn’t you just die cleanly and stay dead? Do you have any idea how many times every night I curse you over and over inside my heart while cleaning up the rotten mess you left behind after I inherited the throne?”

Ji Chengjue raised one hand and tapped his forehead.

“I already knew what I should do. Even when those officials kept advising me one after another, hinting that the branch had grown too heavy for the trunk, that the state was in danger, celestial signs, merit too great to reward... heh-heh-heh. All that shit came crawling out at once. But I have always known how I should face this. I can be a beast to anyone in this world. But to my family, I cannot do it.”

“And Zheng Fan?”

“That bastard surnamed Zheng has always treated me like his younger brother.”

“And you?”

“I...”

“You are the Emperor.”

“I...”

“You are the Son of Heaven.”

“I...”

“You are the supreme ruler of Great Yan.”

“But I still want to try to treat him as my elder brother.”

“That is your answer?”

“Yes.”

“Li Liangting and Tian Wujing. Did they treat Us as their elder brother?”

“No.” Ji Chengjue shook his head. “They recognized you more as their sovereign.”

“Then when it reaches your generation, each generation is inferior to the last?”

“Zheng Fan is not Li Liangting. And Zheng Fan is even less Tian Wujing. You old beast are already dead, so naturally you can talk without your back hurting. His children, two of them, are about to be born! Zhao Jiulang dared move against Tian Wujing’s woman, against Tian Wujing’s son, and he even gave it a beautiful name: for the security of Great Yan’s realm and altars.

“If Tian Wujing had been Zheng Fan, and Zhao Jiulang dared do that, the Jingnan Army wouldn’t have been ‘pacifying rebellion’ back then. They would have launched a Jingnan Rebellion for real! They would have fought straight into Yanjing! And killing one Zhao Jiulang? What the hell would that satisfy? No. If they were going to kill, then exterminating my entire Ji imperial clan would be the only thing satisfying enough! That is Zheng Fan!”

“Oh. So that is how it is. You are being forced?”

“Heh-heh-heh-heh... Hahahahahaha! And yet I’m enjoying it.”

Blood began trickling from Ji Chengjue’s nostrils. He casually wiped it away with his dragon robe.

“Do you know why We appeared here?”

Ji Chengjue said nothing.

“We told you before. We would leave you a nightmare to follow you for the rest of your life. We would watch you. Force you to become a true Emperor of Great Yan.”

Ji Chengjue silently continued wiping the blood from his nose.

“This is a nightmare, but it is also a seed for self-examination. An Emperor may be muddleheaded. His subjects and people will bear the consequences for him. But at a crucial moment, one wrong thought can overturn the work of an entire realm.”

“Imperial Father, I know. Can’t you see your son has a nosebleed?”

Ji Runhao stood there. He looked at Ji Chengjue. Simply looked at him and said nothing.

“Heh-heh.” Ji Chengjue began laughing. “Sure enough. I genuinely can’t imagine what my own father would say if he were actually worried about me. Heh-heh.”

He released a long sigh.

Ji Chengjue waved a hand.

“We are tired. Imperial Father, you may kneel and withdraw.”

Outside the imperial study, Eunuch Wei immediately dropped to his knees.

“Respectfully seeing off the late Emperor!”

Then Wei Zhonghe rushed inside. Seeing Ji Chengjue covered in blood from his nose, he was so frightened that he immediately began helping stop the bleeding.

“Master! Master! Why didn’t you call this slave sooner? This... this...”

The Emperor was being held by Wei Zhonghe, but his neck twisted slightly. His gaze swept around the room.

The tall figure in the black dragon robe was gone.

Only then did Ji Chengjue finally exhale.

Whew...

“Master, this slave will stop the bleeding for you.”

“It’s fine. My liver fire has been high lately. Letting out a little blood can count as venting the heat. Wei Zhonghe...”

“This slave is here.”

“We have finally decided what reward to give Prince Pingxi when he comes back.”

“Then what does Your Majesty intend to reward Prince Pingxi with?”

Ji Chengjue raised one finger. He hesitated, then raised another.

“Two cucumbers.”

“This...”

“We will tell him plainly. We have nothing left worth rewarding him with. Just two cucumbers grown by family. He can take them or leave them! Hmph.”

[End of Chapter 877]